We only think we remember. The struggle is important. Incentives to anger. Reliably connecting with your audience. Reminders of important lessons. Everyone's in pain. Responding to offense.
“If you’re horrible to me, I’m going to write a song about it, and you won’t like it. That’s how I operate.”
-Taylor Swift
1. “Can we ever be sure what happened?”
Stop Gaslighting Yourself: Why Your Memory Isn’t as Reliable as You Think – Nir Eyal – (Nir and Far)
Memory is a funny thing. We believe we remember, and it feels like we remember accurately, but all evidence would indicate the contrary. Maybe that horrid and embarrassing thing you remember from your past wasn’t as horrid and embarrassing as you recall? It’s tough, I definitely have some memories that qualify as horrid and embarrassing from my youth, and to the best of my knowledge my memory of those memories hasn’t changed. And yet… it can’t be relied on.
Memory isn’t replay; it’s rewrite. Understanding this changes everything about how we view our experiences and our identity.
Given how much we rely on, and assume the veracity of, our memory, that it might be fallible is kinda scary for many reasons.
Do this: Question your memories.
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2. “Growth feeds on meaningful struggle”
The Hidden Cost of Comfort – Sahil Bloom – (Curiosity Chronicle)
When things get hard we have two choices: avoid the difficulty, or try to power through it.
I’m not saying that one answer or the other is the right one in all cases. Sometimes choosing to side-step a difficulty is the right thing to do. Sometimes there’s no choice at all. What I am saying, though, is that avoiding the hard thing isn’t always the best option. Sometimes it’s the difficulty that molds you into who you are to become.
The growth you asked for is hidden in the struggle you avoid.
We live in a time where it seems struggle-avoidance has become a priority. At what cost?
Do this: Don’t be afraid to do the work.
3. “People will adapt their behavior (and even their morals) according to what is socially rewarded”
Ending the Anger Economy – Lawrence Yeo – (More to That)
This is an interesting take on the anger we’re all feeling these days, looking at it as an economics problem rather than a moral one. Yeo looks at anger using traditional supply/demand economics concepts, and it makes sense. And yes, it involves social media (though I don’t believe it’s limited to that):
Both the algorithm and public opinion incentivizes people to post angry content, so the supply of anger also increases to match that increase in demand.
The key word is “incentive”. We have incentives and rewards to be angry and to display our anger, regardless of whether that accomplishes anything other than incentivizing more anger in ourselves and others.
Do this: Notice the incentives.
4. “Why I’m spending more time on newsletter platforms”
The great social media exodus? – Justin Welsh – (The Saturday Solopreneur)
Social media is turning into a hellscape. It might be useful for brainless entertainment, but unfortunately many people are using it as a primary source of (mis)information and are manipulated by the various algorithms at play. On the flip side, there are many (many!) worthwhile sources of information not getting enough screen time because they refuse to play the attention game.
By the end of 2026, we’ll look back on this period as the great creative migration. A time when many serious creative entrepreneurs recognized that social platforms were becoming too noisy, and moved to channels where they could build their email lists and have thoughtful conversations with their communities.
For both publishers and audiences, direct connection really is the only reliable way to go.
Do this: Subscribe. (And consider supporting the publications you subscribe to.)
5. “I bet you already know these things”
Lessons I learned the hard way – Darius Foroux – (Blog)
A standard list, and indeed, I’m sure we’ve all heard most of them before. But that’s kinda not the point.
Let me share these lessons with you here. Not so you can learn from them (because I bet you already know these things), but just to remind you of how important they are.
That’s the thing, isn’t it? We’ve all heard most, but do we actually internalize and act on them? Likely not. Mostly we recognize them, pay a little lip service, forget them, and get on with our lives.
This is all about the reminder. It’s a list worth reviewing periodically.
Do this: Review the list.
6. “Join a gang.”
How to Be a Happy 85-Year-Old (Like Me) – Roger Rosenblatt – (The New York Times)
In 2000, at the age of 60, Rosenblatt published a book called “Rules for Aging”. 25 years later he’s just finished a sequel. While I haven’t compared this article to the contents of the existing book, I suspect a few priorities and lessons have changed.
“Join a gang” simply refers to the importance of socialization. In his case that’s a cadre of acquaintances that get together regularly.
One of the more striking lessons is #6.
Everyone’s in pain.
If you didn’t know that before, you know it now. People you meet casually, those you’ve known all your life, the ones you’ll never see — everyone’s in pain. If you need an excuse for being kind, start with that.
Everyone.
Do this: Be kind.
7. “What should you do instead?”
How to respond to offensive comments in a thoughtful way – Alicia del Prado – (Psyche)
This essay outlines an approach to responding when you feel you’ve been insulted or offended. It’s a logical, structured approach that allows us to make intelligent, and hopefully safe decisions at a time when we might feel our most vulnerable.
I’m an online publisher in the tech space, where insults and incivility are common. Not a day goes by that I don’t receive a personal insult of some sort. (To be fair, the vast majority of comments and feedback are positive and respectful. But it’s a sad truth that the negative statements get a disproportionate amount of attention and visceral reaction.)
I don’t follow the advice outlined. I do something different. When someone leaves an insulting comment on an article, or more often a YouTube video, I respond. I respond to them, but not for them. I respond for those who follow.
Public responses have the benefit of letting other people, who might have also found a comment offensive, know that the ‘bystander effect’ did not win out – that someone did, in fact, step in and say something.
The essay seems to take the approach that resolution can be achieved, and mutual respect can result. Perhaps, but not in the YouTube comments section. All I can do there is what I do in general: try to educate (hopefully in a more humorous way).
Do this: Don’t let the sh*theads get you down.
Random links
What I’m reading now
- Nudge: The Final Edition – Richard H. Thaler, Cass R. Sunstein
- Messengers: Who We Listen To, Who We Don’t, and Why – Stephen Martin, Joseph Marks (Audio)
My Reading List – everything I’ve read since 2021.
My Sources Page – the common sources I scan/read regularly.
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