Is this just fantasy? But I want it now! Ranting to your echo chamber. Ignore more. Expectations versus reality. Someone needs to hear your thoughts. Nostalgia considered harmful.
“Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?”
– Queen
1. “The line between fantasy and reality is about to blur even further”
The Invisible Threads: How Parasocial Relationships Fuel Digital Obsession – Joan Westenberg – (@Westenberg)
A fascinating exploration of parasocial relationships. It’s been around a long time (the term was coined in 1956), but has expanded exponentially. One cause? Social media.
The takeaway above refers to the future.
With the rise of virtual and augmented reality, fans will be able to go further and deeper into hyper-immersive, seemingly intimate experiences with public figures like never before. The line between fantasy and reality is about to blur even further.
The solution is awareness, and remembering to prioritize healthy, in person relationships. You know, with people that know who you are?
Do this: Spend some time with friends in “meat-space“.
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2. “The power of immediate gratification”
The Privacy Paradox: Why We Don’t Practice What We Preach – Joan Westenberg – (@Westenberg)
I’ll bet you know exactly what the title relates to, because you do it yourself, every day. I know I do. We know that privacy is important, but we give away information right and left online.
When it comes to privacy, the rewards of sharing information (like social connection or convenience) are immediate and tangible, while the costs (like potential data breaches or loss of autonomy) are distant and abstract.
It’s complicated, and despite online services protests otherwise, only part of the responsibility is on individuals. The problem is systemic.
Do this: Notice. Just notice the various ways you already know you’re sharing more than you know you should with entities you know you shouldn’t.
3. “It is so strange hardly anyone on the left tries to be persuasive.”
Have you tried talking to people about what you believe? – (Philosophy bear)
From my limited exposure, it’s as true for the right as it is the left. No one is trying to persuade anyone. Everyone, instead, is simply raging with their own form of moral indignation.
But we just don’t try to persuade people about big questions. People think they put a lot of effort into persuading others, but they don’t.
Spoiler: ranting isn’t persuasion. Persuasion is significantly more work and significantly less comfortable. That’s probably why so few try.
The essay discusses methods, but honestly, there’s not a lot new there that most folks haven’t already heard of. The failure is in the doing. (And I’m as guilty as anyone.)
Do this: At least stop ranting to your echo chamber. That’s only making things worse.
4. “People must become smart ignorers of information”
Teaching: On the Benefits of Critical Ignoring – C. Nathan DeWall, University of Kentucky – (APS – Association for Psychological Science)
This is a short piece on a topic I think it critical for more people to embrace. It includes some concrete steps. My favorite:
Ignore people or organizations who refuse to let you cross-check their claims
We blindly accept so much without verification. One way to reduce the flood of information is to choose to ignore those who refuse to cite their sources or otherwise allow us to cross-check the facts.
We all choose to ignore certain things. This is an argument to make those choices with more intention.
Do this: Choose what to ignore, and leave more room for the good stuff.
5. “Pathways are getting pre-excited by expectation”
Expectation, Perception and Hot Sauce – F. Perry Wilson, MD MSCE – (Medium)
Wilson discusses an experiment where individuals were given different degrees of hot sauces, and asked about their reaction, all within an fMRI machine. The interesting aspect of the study is that they were “prepped”, if you will, by an indication that what they were about to taste was hot (expressed as 1 pepper), and hotter (expressed as 2). The finding was that the expectation affected the perception of the results. Given the same strength hot sauce, it was experienced — as visible in the fMRI — as hotter if that was the expectation.
What we perceive as reality is shaped by our very expectations
Another good example of this is the placebo effect.
My take on it is simple: this applies to so much more than food or medicine. It’s anything and everything we experience. Expect the party you’re attending to be a bore? Then it likely will be, for you, regardless of objective reality.
Expect the opposition to not have a clue what they’re talking about? Then you’re likely to hear more of those things that confirm your expectation. Yes, it’s also a form of confirmation bias.
Do this: Set objective expectations, or maybe none at all.
6. “Fear sucks, but it’s part of the journey.”
What if fear is your secret weapon? – Justin Welsh – (The Saturday Solopreneur)
As the publication’s title implies, it targets entrepreneurial and business types, but my take is it applies to almost anyone.
The situation is this: you’re afraid to speak your mind. You’re afraid to publish your thoughts. You’re afraid to share your experience, online or elsewhere. Why? You’re afraid you’ll look foolish. The same is true for everyone whose thoughts and opinions you’ve read online and off, myself included. That “Publish” button can be nerve-wracking, on any of the platforms I use, including the day job.
Here’s a “flip the script” approach:
What if my perspective is exactly what someone needs to hear today?
On the surface that might seem laughable, or highly unlikely. I’m here to tell you it happens all the time. You may not always hear about it, since people don’t always share their feedback. But when they do, it makes all the difference in the world. There’s still fear, don’t get me wrong. But there’s a reason to move past it.
Do this: Share.
7. “We don’t remember how we actually felt in the past”
A Message From the Past (Thoughts on Nostalgia) – Morgan Housel – (Collabfund)
Nostalgia may seem sweet, but it can be downright dangerous. It leads us to long for things that never were. At worst, we make decisions based on a rose-colored-glasses view of our past.
The past wasn’t as good as you remember. The present isn’t as bad as you think. The future will be better than you anticipate.
Housel’s essay includes concrete examples of his own mis-remembering.
It’s hard to remember how you felt when you know how the story ends.
And, as I’m certain you’re aware, politicians are trying to leverage this fallacy as much as possible.
Do this: Remember the good, of course, but be realistic and also remember that things probably weren’t as rosy as you think.
Random links
- I promise this story about fonts is interesting – It is.
- Arithmetic is an underrated world-modeling technology – It is.
What I’m reading
In progress:
- Service Model – Adrian Tchaikovsky
- How to Read a Book – Mortimer J. Adler, Charles Van Doren
- Where Good Ideas Come From – Steven Johnson (re-read)
- The Sense of Style: The Thinking Person’s Guide to Writing in the 21st Century – Steven Pinker (audio)
Daily:
- A Calendar of Wisdom: Daily Thoughts to Nourish the Soul, Written and Selected from the World’s Sacred Texts – Leo Tolstoy
A full list of my common sources is on the sources page, and I list the books I’ve read on my Reading List page.
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-Leo
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