Fail more. Take the photo. Memento mori. Letting other tell us what to think. Using time wisely. Pain is inevitable. Searching for truth.
1. “Reframe your failure as an opportunity.”
Fail! Fail a Lot! It’s Good for You – Nir Eyal – (Nir & Far)
This essay’s about the importance of failure, and how (and why) it’s so difficult for people to cope with. Even the simplest failure can trigger the “fight or flight” response. While the essay is scoped for business and entrepreneurs, the same is true in daily life. Shit happens, and if we believe or are told it’s our fault, our failure, it often triggers a very negative internal response.
As I was reading this, though, my mind went elsewhere: comments. Specifically, as a creator, the inevitable negative comments often left on your published work. (My YouTube channel is a fine example, but then so are most video and social media accounts.) Each negative comment can easily feel like a failure.
If you plan to get out of your comfort zone and try new things, it’s best not to make yourself feel like crap every time they don’t work.
Or every time someone leaves a disparaging comment.
In many ways, it sucks, but “exposure therapy”, in addition to reframing, is perhaps the best approach to getting past it. There will always be failures, there will always be negative comments. What you can choose, however, is what to make of them.
Do this: Don’t let the failures, or the shitheads, get you down.
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2. “A treasured time capsule”
You’ll regret the photos you didn’t take – Katie Hawkins-Gaar – (My Sweet Dumb Brain)
I’ll admit, this is somewhat of a pet peeve of mine, and has been for a long time. I don’t have nearly enough photos of people I care about. I regret not taking more photos of them myself, not being allowed to, and not asking more people to share their own. The author has kids, so of course thousands (literally) of photos of them, but not nearly as many of herself or with herself included.
I love your kids. I do. I also love your pets. But I love you as well, and ten, fifteen, twenty years from now I think we’ll both regret not having more shots of you. They don’t have to be fancy, and they don’t have to be overly staged-for-social-media photos (in fact they shouldn’t be). I get that being the person behind the camera, as I often am, limits the number of photos in front of the camera, but there are solutions for that as well.
Something I’d like to let go of this year is my reluctance to getting in front of the camera. I want to take more photos with dear friends. Suggest the group selfie.
Do this: Take the shot.
3. “We’re all in a terminal state”
You’re Going to Die. That’s a Good Thing. (gift link) – Arthur C. Brooks – (The Atlantic)
No one likes to think about death, especially their own. Given that it’s the one thing we all know we share, that’s kind of a problem.
The real problem with death is that it messes up our being alive until it’s right in front of us.
Perhaps better is that understanding it sooner is an opportunity.
… after a near-death experience, people became less materialistic and more concerned for others, were less anxious about their own death whenever that time would come, and enjoyed greater self-worth.
The thing is, you don’t need to have a near-death experience to come to that point.
Do this: Memento Mori (remember you are mortal), and live accordingly.
4. “Are you really making your own choices?”
Don’t let machines or the crowd decide your world – Adam Singer – (Hot Takes)
Another call to pay attention to what we consume, and where we consume it from. Even though we have more choices than ever,
most people are subtly funneled into the same streams, the same pools of ‘socially approved’ culture, cuisine and ideas.
Sometimes it’s not so subtle.
The currently popular position is, of course, to blame social media, or the mainstream media, or anyone but ourselves. The reality is while media of all kinds contributes to the situation, and they’ve been more effective than ever at guiding us to complacency, it’s always been this way. We love to let others tell us what to think and how to behave, even if we don’t realize we’re doing it.
Do this: Think. For yourself.
5. “Use the time that I do have, not the time I wish I had.”
Stuck in a loop – Rosie Spinks – (What Do We Do Now That We’re Here)
The essay is nominally about “Five tips to read more books in 2025”, which I can heartily recommend. I just found that takeaway above another case of something that applies to so much more than the context in which it’s presented.
The most efficient way of doing something isn’t necessarily the most valuable, meaningful, or beautiful.
The issue? We spend so much time and energy looking for, or waiting for, that more valuable, meaningful, or beautiful way, rather than using the time you have right now.
Do this: Use the time you have.
6. “Being alive is very dangerous and every moment of life is very precious.”
It’s Easier Than You Think – Sylvia Boorstein – (ebook)
This is taken from the chapter on Buddhism’s first Noble Truth: “pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.”
I’ve heard it put another way as well: Everything is trying to kill you, eventually something will succeed. Trying to avoid or deny that reality causes suffering.
What do we do with that knowledge? Buddhism would have you accept it, rather than avoid it, and live your life accordingly. If that works for you, great. I think the bottom line is actually much simpler: remember that every moment of life is precious. Behave accordingly.
Do this: Behave accordingly.
PS: If you’ve ever been Buddhist-curious, but you resist the sometimes off-putting language you’ve encountered, or the “woo” message that might seem to come across, I can recommend this book. Not to convert anyone, but to a) give better understanding as to what it’s really all about, and b) perhaps give you some ideas and concepts to cherry-pick for your own life.
#buddhism #death #suffering #life
7. “There is an enduring thirst for reliable information”
What’s a Fact, Anyway? – Fergus McIntosh – (The New Yorker) (paywall)
An in-depth discussing the complexity of fact checking. It’s timely after the decision by Meta to stop fact checking. While an interesting and educational overview of one publication’s perspective, a nuance jumped out at me.
Many people turn to the news more for affirmation than for information.
All the fact checking in the world won’t help if you and aren’t willing to consume it with an open mind. We, too, need to be willing to do the work.
So this: Be open to actual facts. Be open to being wrong. (And perhaps be open to your heroes being wrong as well.)
Random links
- It’s Not Looking Great – The slow assassination of the free press.
- How Hitler Dismantled a Democracy in 53 Days (gift link)
What I’m reading
In progress:
- Reel of Fortune – Jana DeLeon
- It’s Easier Than You Think – Sylvia Boorstein (reRead)
- The Sense of Style: The Thinking Person’s Guide to Writing in the 21st Century – Steven Pinker (audio)
A full list of my common sources is on the sources page, and I list the books I’ve read on my Reading List page.
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“Are you really making your own choices?” ✔
Re #7, Funny, someone just accused me of not having an open mind because I was being skeptical of a miracle cure they heard about on a podcast. I’m open to it being true, for sure, but I’m also “open to actual facts,” so I thought, afterward something I could have said: skepticism & seeking truth is NOT the opposite of open-mindedness!
Re #2/#3, Going to more funerals now, I wonder what photo they’d use of me because I avoid photos. Still, I’m not ready to “take the shot” yet…I’ll give it a few years if I’ve got ’em. I will take the chance they’ll pick one that I hate because at that point, I won’t care! But I guess the point is that the photos are not for me. I’ll think on it.
Two excellent articles under Random Links. Our president elect obviously shares some of the same talents as Hitler. It is a foolish commentary on the left to think of him as stupid.