Face the silence. Be here, do stuff. Stupidity is special. Optimists live longer. Paper versus ebooks. Most self help is repetitive. Deeply engaged conversationalists.
All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.
– Blaise Pascal
I’ve been slowly updating my sources page. There’ve been some additions and removals, of course, but the biggest change is that I’m trying to steer more of my subscriptions to using RSS. I’m listing separately those I get via email, and those I get via RSS in my feed reader (Feedly – ignore their fixation on threat intelligence, it’s also just a good feed reader). You can also see which subscriptions I pay for to support the author(s). It’s been interesting to see what’s changed since I last updated; some have stopped publishing, sometimes without explanation. I keep running across other good sources, though, and the list keeps expanding. I haven’t counted, but it’s safe to say there are dozens of sources I skim and/or read throughout the week.
1. “The hardest and most rewarding thing you can do is face the silence.”
Pascal would have thrown away his iPhone – Joan Westenberg – (Blog)
I mentioned last week that my parents were never bored. I would often catch them just sitting, and when asked they would say that that were thinking.
We seem to no longer be able to do that. Not only are we incredibly uncomfortable with stillness and potential boredom, tech is now leveraging that in the form of infinite scroll, algorithmic feeds, and a constant drip of dopamine.
When we stop moving, when the noise fades, when we confront our own mortality and smallness, we feel a terrifying emptiness.
It’s not something to be avoided. It’s something to be embraced, and to learn and grow from.
Do this: Sit and just think for a while.
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2. “You get to just be here, and do stuff!”
Reality just keeps unfolding – Oliver Burkeman – (The Imperfectionist)
We are biased to the point of desperation, looking for closure. Looking for an end. Idealizing about the time when we’ll be “done” with something, or that something will be complete.
Letting that go is incredibly difficult, but also incredibly powerful.
… there’s nothing to stop you relaxing into reality right here and now – relaxing not only in the sense of taking it easy, but of relaxing into action, doing what needs doing, fully taking up your place in reality. You needn’t save yourself for some future point of resolution.
I bump into this all the time. I’m constantly waiting for something before embarking on something else. There’s no need. You can just do stuff.
Do this: Be here. Do stuff. What are you waiting for?
3. “Stupidity is a very special species of failure”
What Makes Humans Stupid (Gift link) – David C. Krakauer – (Nautilus)
A fascinating overview. One definition of stupidity:
Stupidity begins where error is elaborated, defended, refined, institutionalized, and made the foundation for further action. Stupidity makes everything progressively worse.
It lands, as so many essays do today, on AI.
If intelligence is a necessary precondition for stupidity, and intelligence and stupidity scale together such that it takes real intelligence to be spectacularly stupid, then super-intelligence will be the opening act to an era of super-stupidity.
You can’t have stupidity without intelligence, just as you can’t have right without wrong, light without dark, and so on. The scaling presented here is interesting. What would super-stupidity look like, and would we survive it?
Do this: Acknowledge errors quickly, so as to better avoid stupidity.
4. “The most optimistic men and women had, on average, an 11–15% longer lifespan”
The Life-Changing Magic of Active Optimism – Sahil Bloom – (Curiosity Chronicle)
Bloom defines something he calls “active optimism”.
Active Optimism is about belief that begets action. The belief that things will work out, and the action to make sure they do. Earned faith.
I like the concept. It reminds me of my thoughts on The Secret. Wishing or sending thoughts out into the universe does nothing. However, the actions you take, consciously or otherwise, are what make those things happen. This is explicit: Negativism accomplishes nothing. Passive optimism accomplishes nothing. Active optimism implies taking action to see that optimism fulfilled.
Do this: Be optimistic, and act on it.
5. “The feel of the paper, the weight of the book”
What you lose when you stop reading physical books – Jasna Hodžić – (Big Think)
This is a topic that often results in passionate positions. Some feel reading electronically is close to not reading at all, and that physical books are vastly superior. Others feel that e-books and related electronic content are vastly superior in terms of access to nearly infinite information at any time, wherever you may be.
The truth, as is so often the case, is somewhere in between. As for me, it’s probably no surprise I lean hard to the electronic side, to the point where I’ve re-purchased physical books in electronic form so that I’ll actually read them. (I also wonder if the type of screen makes a difference: electronic paper, for example, being more “book like” than a traditional phone or computer screen.)
If you know you want to ponder a book, I suggest reading in print. If it’s going to be what I call a ‘one-off’ read, the medium won’t make much of a difference.
Regardless of where you fall on the spectrum, it’s worth pondering which approach best serves you, and when.
Do this: Read.
6. “They were all saying the same things”
Why I Stopped Reading Self-Help Books, And What I Read Instead – Raja Sekar (Medium)
I got “turned on” to self-help books midway through my career at Microsoft when I was introduced to The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by my manager at the time. It’s stood the test of time, in my opinion, and remains one of my foundational recommendations. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for many of the books I’ve read since then. They often promise much and deliver little, or they deliver the same messages in different clothing.
Set goals. Build habits. Think positive. Take action. Focus on what matters. Believe in yourself.
This seems to apply frequently to many of today’s popular self-help publications: same message, different package. Perhaps the packaging makes a difference in how the message is received, but it’s still the same old same old.
These days, when I pick up a book, I ask myself a few questions before committing: Is this about something specific that I actually want to learn? Is the author qualified to teach this particular thing? Will I be able to apply something from this within the next week?
Perhaps those criteria will select better books; perhaps they’ll select the same books. What matters is that you ask yourself whether or not there’s something valuable or just a rehash of concepts you’re already well acquainted with. (As an example of a more transformative book, the author mentions Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman, and I agree.)
Do this: Read better.
7. “I want to hear more.”
Time Scarcity, Asking Questions, and Pocket Presence – Brené Brown and Adam Grant – (Dare to Lead Podcast)
I ended up listening to this podcast episode as a rerun on the current Curiosity Shop podcast. While it’s an interesting podcast episode in its own right, there were to aspects to the discussion that caught my attention:
- The willingness to pause and think before responding.
- The question/statement “I want to hear more”.
Both are signs of a deeply engaged conversation where both participants are listening to understand, rather than listening to respond. The latter is what we all tend to do too often. Yes, it can make for a better podcast, but it just makes for better conversations in general, yet it’s a difficult skill to cultivate.
I found myself listening to how these two individuals interacted as much as I listened to what it was they were saying.
Do this: Listen.
Random Links
- The Self-Help Evidence Pyramid – Eighty-two popular self-improvement techniques sorted by how strongly the research actually supports them.
What I’m reading now
- The Dungeon Anarchist’s Cookbook: Dungeon Crawler Carl Book 3 – Matt Dinniman
- Good Writing: 36 Ways to Improve Your Sentences – Neal Allen, Anne Lamott
- The Way of Kings: Book One of the Stormlight Archive – Brandon Sanderson
- The Collected Stories of Arthur C. Clarke – (Audio)
- The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark – Carl Sagan
My Reading List – everything I’ve read since 2021.
My Sources Page – the common sources I scan/read regularly.
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