Just say no. Change ain't easy. Crisis reveals values. The last time. Happy with coffee. Know yourself better. There's much to be grateful for.
“Saying no can be the ultimate self-care.”
-Claudia Black
1. “Sometimes the most generous thing you can do is say no.”
“What’s the cost of saying yes?” – Chris Guillebeau – (A Year of Mental Health)
We often struggle with turning down requests because we feel we’re disappointing those making the ask. Unfortunately it’s often a case that we’re not avoiding the disappointment, we’re just delaying or shifting it.
- What will you no longer be able to do?
- What time and energy will you give away?
Considering the “cost” of saying yes is a way to factor those future disappointments into the decision. You might find that saying “no” now will not only be received more amicably than you might expect, it’ll avoid a more major disappointment in the future.
Do this: Consider the cost.
Support 7 Takeaways
(Or just forward this to a friend.)
2. “This process of change is often not easy.”
How to resist everyday temptations – Peggilee Wupperman – (Psyche)
It’s a lengthy article that discusses the impulsive behaviors we face every day, and offers some structured advice on how to approach those we feel inappropriate or unhealthy.
It may seem obvious, but this got my attention and seemed like an important reminder:
… the brain is more likely to become conditioned by immediate consequences (relief from anxiety) than by consequences that occur hours, days or months later.
The default behavior of the brain is short term. Considering long-term consequences takes work. And that’s where we so often fall down, both for “everyday temptations”, and the decisions and activities that make a society.
Do this: Do the work.
3. “Crisis has a way of stripping everything down to what’s actually essential”
When the ground beneath you breaks open – Stepfanie Tyler – (Wild Bare Thoughts)
This is the paradox we live inside: that clarity comes through confusion, that strength emerges from breaking, that the deepest truths about ourselves are revealed not in triumph but in the rubble of what we thought we understood.
We learn more about ourselves, and become more of who we really are, through crisis. When things are going well, there’s rarely a need for deep introspection and difficult decision-making. When the shit hits the fan, however, we’re suddenly faced with situations and decisions that test — and perhaps mold — our values. This is when we need to pay attention the most.
Do this: Pay attention.
4. “You won’t know when it’s the last time. But you can live like it is.”
Live Like It’s The Last Time – Sahil Bloom – (Curiosity Chronicle)
It feels serendipitous that this takeaway follows the previous. My reading is random, and yet sometimes a theme seems to emerge.
All of the things we take for granted today are things we’ll wish we could go back and do.
I won’t go too deep here, other than to say Bloom shares an incredibly touching and meaningful story of someone who connected with his work. There may be tears.
Do this: Remember that life is fragile.
5. “If you can’t be happy with a coffee, you won’t be happy with a yacht.”
Epicurus: Do not spoil what you have – Thomas Oppong – (Postanly Weekly)
In one sense, it’s the classic argument against materialism, but in another, it’s much more practical than that. No matter how our personal philosophy of life bends, we all have wants, and it’s those wants that often get in the way of realizing just how good we already have it.
The obsession with everything we don’t have makes it incredibly hard to enjoy life.
The challenge is to differentiate what you need from what you want, and to value what it is you already have. Quite often we take what we have for granted, focusing our energies instead on what we wish we had.
Do this: Take stock.
#epicurus #happiness #philosophy
6. “The less you know yourself, the more you look to others to get an idea of your worth.”
The Antidote to Envy – Lawrence Yeo – (More to That)
I recently finished Yeo’s new book, The Inner Compass: Cultivating the Courage to Trust Yourself. Highly recommended.
The book, and indeed, much of Yeo’s writing in general, focuses on self-awareness; what it means to know yourself, how to get there from wherever you may be, and the reasons it’s a Really Good Thing.
Whatever I am, that I want to understand.
The Antidote to Envy is a previously written essay that Yeo included in the book because:
Of the many pieces I’ve written, there’s one I revisit whenever I get lost in the social comparison trap.
I, too, find it a good read to return to from time to time. The takeaway above perhaps encapsulated the biggest lesson.
Do this: Know thyself.
7. “Perhaps we owe Somebody a serious thank you.”
How Do We Say Thank You to God? – Julia Hubbel – (Too Old for this Sh*t)
To be clear, Hubbel qualifies her use of the word “God” as a convenient shorthand, a “universal term”, as she puts it, for whatever you might consider responsible for existence. That could be random chance, a “benevolent universe”, an invisible deity, or whatever else you feel an affinity towards.
Much of this essay can be summed up by an early statement:
Despite evidence to the contrary, there is much to be grateful for all day every day. Much of it depends on where we choose to place our attention.
We as individuals and as a society do a pretty bad job of choosing where to place our attention. We focus on what’s wrong, or what’s missing, or what we’re owed, instead of the amazing gifts we’ve been given. Those gifts are there whether or not we choose to look, but in choosing not to look it’s simply too easy to forget they exist. The result is, of course, a perpetually negative and depressing outlook on life.
There is much wrong in this world, I’m not saying otherwise, and it deserves our attention if there is to be change. But there’s also much right. Don’t let the former overshadow the latter.
Do this: Pay attention.
Random links
- 14 Ways You’re Not An AI – For example, some people do and some people don’t have an inner voice. For some, apparently, the inner voice is a bickering Italian couple?
- Life Happened Fast – Literally, the origin of life on Earth.
- The Tao Of Aging – A few nuggets from the Tao applied to aging.
- I guess I was wrong about AI persuasion – “I imagined a Being that had an IQ of 300 and could think at 10,000× normal speed”
What I’m reading now
- Tiny Experiments: How to Live Freely in a Goal-Obsessed World – Anne-Laure Le Cunff
- Creative Intellegence – Greg Storey
- Not Till We Are Lost – Dennis E. Taylor
- The Science Fiction Hall of Fame, Volume One 1929-1964 (Audio)
My Reading List – everything I’ve read since 2021.
My Sources Page – the common sources I scan/read regularly.
Support 7 Takeaways
Your support helps keep 7 Takeaways viable. I appreciate your consideration VERY much. I have options for recurring Support (Monthly/Quarterly/Yearly options) as well as one-time support over in The Ask Leo! (my “day job”) store. Purchasing any of the books using the links on my Reading List also helps.
Another thing that really helps is sharing 7 Takeaways with a friend. Just forward this email on. And if you received this email from a friend, you can subscribe at 7takeaways.com to get your own copy every Sunday.
Note that some links above may be affiliate links.
Thanks!
If you’re having difficulty viewing this email, visit 7takeaways.com/latest.
If a link to a source above leads you to a paywall, please read my note on paywalls.
Some links above may be affiliate links.
If someone forwarded you this email, subscribe at 7takeaways.com.