Stop complaining. What, me worry? Who your work is really for. No plan survives. Squirrel! Grabbing your attention. Beliefs vs. truths (fight!).
“Care what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.”
– Lao Tzu
1. “Complaints alone change nothing.”
Why You Should Stop Complaining – Scott Berkun – (Why Design is Hard)
I think we all have a difficult time with chronic complainers. Like the always angry, they’re difficult to spend any significant time around. In part because complaining, on its own, is a waste of time, and perhaps even counter-productive.
We want our feelings validated and to not feel alone. Venting and finding support, two things we sometimes get from complaining, are important and good. The trouble is that venting and support do not change the circumstances you are in. In some ways they make it easier for you not to take action to change your situation, since you feel slightly better than you did before you complained.
Berkun’s reframing is to “complain better”, to some degree, but more directly to turn complaints into action to either rectify the situation, or accept it.
Do this: Watch your complaints.
Support 7 Takeaways
(Or just forward this to a friend.)
2. “Worrying is rewarding”
Why we worry: The ABC method for mindfully managing worry – Anne-Laure Le Cunff – (Ness labs)
The statement that made me pause was this:
Each time we worry and nothing bad happens, our mind connects worry with preventing harm.
Sometimes that connection is literal, as in “magical thinking” believing our worry has actually made a difference in the outcome. More often than not, it’s less a direct line and more of a subconscious association. Either way, we’re rewarded for having worried about something that didn’t happen.
Le Cunff outlines a reasonable three step approach to dealing with worry. Given that I’ve been experiencing above average anxiety for some time now, it’s something I’ll be paying attention to.
Do this: Manage your worry as best you can.
3. “Your work exists for the people who need it, not for the people who don’t”
give yourself permission not to care (what people think about you) – Stepfanie Tyler – (Wild Bare Thoughts)
A couple of weeks ago Tyler published an essay, Taste Is the New Intelligence, which led to reactions on her use of AI as part of her process, which she responded to with it’s my party and i’ll use AI if i want to.
The essay I’m referencing this week contains her reflections on the feedback she received.
When we let other people’s discomfort dictate our creative choices, we’re not just silencing ourselves. We’re silencing the future conversations that might have grown from our work, the connections that might have formed, the understanding that might have emerged.
…
I now think it’s actually selfish to withhold your work out of fear.
This is something I run into in my tech writing. There’s no shortage of opinions and self-righteous “individuals” (a more polite term than what I’m actually thinking) who feel the need to share them frequently and vociferously. Not only do they not stop me, but I’ll often respond; not intending to engage them, but for my real audience who’ll come by after.
Do this: Don’t let the [redacted] stop you.
4. “It’s actually a small miracle when things go according to plan.”
21 Big Ideas That Will Change Your Life – Darius Foroux – (ebook)
I know the title seems pithy, and perhaps sets a low bar, but I look for nuggets. This “idea” is simply to “Give up control”. Even that seems pithy, but makes more sense with a little more context.
Stop trying to control everything in life. You honestly can’t plan for everything. And life certainly doesn’t go exactly as you plan. You have to give up your desire to control outcomes. This is an essential part of abundance thinking. Here is a better mindset to adopt instead: “If things go according to plan, great. If they don’t, let’s see what happens!
This is, in essence, something I’ve said and try to remember myself: “We are nothing if not flexible.” It’s something that comes into play almost daily.
Do this: Stay flexible.
5. “Our brains are made to be distracted.”
The Brain Truth the Self-Help Industry Hopes You Never Discover – Annie Scott – (Midlife Mess)
It’s not that the ability to focus (or, as the running joke in the article goes, “fuckus”) is a bad thing, far from it. But it’s more that our distractibility isn’t something to be particularly ashamed of either.
So this week I urge you to give yourself a break next time you think you’re fucking up and being lazy. Because chances are you’re not. You’re just being human in a world where being human is increasingly packaged up as a problem you can pay to solve.
Some problems don’t need solving because they’re not really “problems” at all. Distraction, after all, is where random thoughts and connections most often come from. Working with it, instead of against it, can often produce a better result with less stress along the way.
Do this: Give yourself a break.
6. “Platforms are designed to reward intensity”
The Worst Trend on the Internet Right Now – State of Kait – (Youtube)
I was going to throw this into random links below, but the longer I watched, the more I realized how important the concepts discussed are.
Influencers, celebrities, and politicians alike have learned that they don’t exactly need your trust, and they don’t even need your respect. All they need is your attention. And if anger gets it faster than admiration, then rage bait becomes the business model.
All they need is your attention. Kait gives us example after example of how this technique is used, and also the resulting impact on the people who engage. Even a passive watch is “engagement”, and a angry comment? That’s exactly what “rage bait” is all about, and we as a society are falling for it.
Do this: Yes, there are things to be outraged about, but the next time you run across something that angers or disgusts you, dive deeper to find out whether that isn’t the original posters business model. The results, as they say, may surprise you.
#ragebait #outrage #social-media
7. “Beliefs are not absolute truths.”
Unlock Your Potential With The Power Of Belief – Nir Eyal – (Nir and Far)
I found this definition insightful because it summarizes an important concept many people seem to miss:
But beliefs are not absolute truths. They are tools that exist on a spectrum between fact and faith. Facts are objective realities that remain true whether we believe in them or not. Faith is absolute conviction without evidence, a leap beyond what the senses or science can verify.
The problem, of course, is that many (MANY) people conflate beliefs with truths. Put another way, they believe that what they believe is factually and absolutely true, even though there is no evidence to support it. This might be the single most critical source of divisiveness known. The solution is, of course, to be open to the difference between a belief and a fact. Sadly, those that believe there is no difference are the hardest to convince, and yet the most in need of convincing.
By the way, that’s all of us, one way or another, at some time or another.
Do this: Keep an open mind.
Random links
- That Time New York Fell For A Moon-Goat
- 10 Things I Learned From a Decade of Doing 1 Thing
- It’s not about the tree – A metaphor for what’s going on around us.
- We Can No Longer Rely On Our Government – Not a metaphor.
What I’m reading now
- Mistborn: The Well of Ascension – Brandon Sanderson
- Tiny Experiments: How to Live Freely in a Goal-Obsessed World – Anne-Laure Le Cunff
- Project Hail Mary: A Novel Kindle Edition – Andy Weir (audio)
My Reading List – everything I’ve read since 2021.
My Sources Page – the common sources I scan/read regularly.
Support 7 Takeaways
Your support helps keep 7 Takeaways viable. I appreciate your consideration VERY much. I have options for recurring Support (Monthly/Quarterly/Yearly options) as well as one-time support over in The Ask Leo! (my “day job”) store. Purchasing any of the books using the links on my Reading List also helps.
Another thing that really helps is sharing 7 Takeaways with a friend. Just forward this email on. And if you received this email from a friend, you can subscribe at 7takeaways.com to get your own copy every Sunday.
Note that some links above may be affiliate links.
Thanks!
If you’re having difficulty viewing this email, visit 7takeaways.com/latest.
If a link to a source above leads you to a paywall, please read my note on paywalls.
Some links above may be affiliate links.
If someone forwarded you this email, subscribe at 7takeaways.com.