Lack of perfection. What others think. Mean politics. Don't get comfortable. Optimism required. Prepare, hope, and act. You should read this.
“He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how.”
-Viktor Frankl
1. “The world isn’t full of perfection after all”
What’s Buried Deep in Your Soul? – Tom Greene – (Wit & Wisdom)
Supposedly everyone has 13 secrets. How serious those are, and whether everyone has them is unclear. But it got me to thinking about something greater.
Because the goal isn’t to be perfect. It’s to be more transparent; to open the dirty window. To let the light in.
Society seems to be bending back towards secrecy. We are actively discouraged from showing our true selves. Be it for political reasons, religious reasons, or whatever else, tribalism encourages — perhaps even demands — that we conform. And to conform, we hide aspects of who we truly are. It’s not an easy mold to break.
Do this: As best you can, be true to yourself.
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2. “This maddening worry about what others think of us”
The Problem of What Others Think – Lawrence Yeo – (More to That)
It’s a common concept in the personal growth world that we worry much too much about what others think of us. Even those who say they don’t care what others think often act in ways that clearly indicate that deep down, perhaps subconsciously, they really do, and often deeply.
Yeo has an interesting take on it.
When you’re worried about what someone thinks of you, it’s rarely about that person’s opinions of you. It’s about your own opinions of yourself.
I liken it to how the behaviors in others that annoy us often turn out to be behaviors we exhibit ourselves. Our concern about what others think of us can serve as a window into what we think of ourselves.
Do this: Notice when the opinions of others matter to you and ask why.
3. “Politics appears to give people a sense of righteousness”
How America Got Mean – David Brooks – (The Atlantic)
This is a lengthy article discussing how over decades the changing landscape of moral education, or lack thereof, has led to a meaner, less respectful society. It’s complex, but one place people find refuge is, of all things, in politics, which of course feeds the beast.
Politics also provides an easy way to feel a sense of purpose. You don’t have to feed the hungry or sit with the widow to be moral; you just have to experience the right emotion. You delude yourself that you are participating in civic life by feeling properly enraged at the other side. That righteous fury rising in your gut lets you know that you are engaged in caring about this country. The culture war is a struggle that gives life meaning.
And it’s meaning that perhaps we’ve lost and are now seeking to replace in less-than-healthy ways.
The article covers a much broader range of implications and is worth a read.
Do this: Be kind.
4. “Comfort is a slow poison”
8 hard truths about personal agency that will ruin your comfort zone – Stepfanie Tyler – (Wild Bare Thoughts)
The article is a list, as its title implies, and the takeaway above is one of the eight. The entire list is insightful. It’s a good reminder and exploration even if some items are familiar. This one got my attention because I think it’s something we don’t think of often.
We mistake ease for success, but ease is often just the slow dissolution of whatever made us capable in the first place.
When things get too easy, we often stop trying. That may well be the right thing, depending on your stage in life, perhaps, but it’s also probably something you want to be intentional about, rather than inattentively sliding into by default.
Do this: Be intentional.
5. “Toxic positivity approaches optimism from the wrong side.”
Being Optimistic Will Not Make Your Life All Puppies and Rainbows – Gary Buzzard – (Enjoy the Moment)
Optimism is important, but as the takeaway above, and the essay title implies, it’s no silver bullet. My experience is that lately optimism is difficult at best, and many people cannot accept the possibility of even considering it.
But meditation takes faith, optimism, and consistency.
One of Buzzard’s tools for aging mindfully is meditation. The quote above finally offered a reason so many people fail at it: optimism, or lack there of. Consistency is a pragmatic failure, and I see it all the time in myself. But if you don’t have faith that it has value, and the optimism that things can get better, meditation would seem a frivolous waste. Angry people don’t meditate.
Do this: Have faith.
6. “There is no normal now. Just what’s next”
The Next 4 Years Will be Tough. How to Live Right Now – Thomas Oppong – (Medium)
We are right to be afraid. These are turbulent, scary times. Oppong suggests acknowledging it, identifying it, and then turning that fear into action, small or large.
Prepare like it’s going to get worse.
Hope like it’s going to get better.
Act like it’s all up to you.
I love that quote.
Do this: Prepare. Hope. Act.
7. “The word should towering over you like a dictator”
Tiny Experiments: How to Live Freely in a Goal-Obsessed World – Anne-Laure Le Cunff – (ebook)
In a chapter discussing procrastination, the author quotes philosopher Susanna Newsonen:
“Should is a shame-based statement that creates stress and anxiety in your body and mind.”
I’ve long disliked the word “should”. It’s too often used by someone attempting to impose their values, masquerading as a simple statement of need. On its face, the word “should” be pretty neutral. In reality, it comes with buckets of baggage that often leads to … you guessed it … procrastination.
Do this: Examine the values behind every “should”.
Random links
- The Relativity of Wrong – “right and wrong are fuzzy concepts”, Isaac Asimov
- Should AI be able to steal books? Are they stealing them? – Slightly misleading title. It’s a great overview of how copyright started in the US.
What I’m reading now
- Tiny Experiments: How to Live Freely in a Goal-Obsessed World – Anne-Laure Le Cunff
- Creative Intellegence – Greg Storey
- Life, the Universe and Everything– Douglas Adams
- The Science Fiction Hall of Fame, Volume One 1929-1964 (Audio)
My Reading List – everything I’ve read since 2021.
My Sources Page – the common sources I scan/read regularly.
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