All criticism is self criticism. The power of the random nut. One true purpose, or not. Re-examining your beliefs. Taming the savageness of man. Showing up. Friendship takes work.
If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.
– George Orwell
1. “When we criticize another, we are attacking ourselves”
The Zen of Boiling Eggs, Winning Friends, and Finding Stillness – Gary Buzzard – (Enjoy the Moment)
Buzzard has decided to stop criticizing, period. I wish him well. If successful, he’s a stronger man than I.
His impetus was reading Dale Carnegie’s book “How To Win Friends And Influence People” (which I should re-read someday). He quotes Carnegie:
When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.
Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.
— Dale Carnegie
Absolutely true. Very noble. And incredibly difficult.
But worth aspiring to.
Do this: Watch your criticism.
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2. “History is more vulnerable than we like to admit”
The Random Nut Theory of History – Joan Westenberg – (The Index)
Conspiracy theories serve a purpose. They give us a certain comfort by feigning certainty in a world that’s much more likely to be completely random.
And yet, they backfire.
… the more we pretend attacks on political figures are coordinated plots, the more we empower the next random nut. Every conspiracy theory, every viral YouTube video “proving” hidden networks, every fever swamp blog painting maps of invisible elites – it all gives the delusional loner the stage he craves.
It is kind of scary how a random nut with a gun need have only one accurate shot to change the course of history.
Do this: Resist the comfort of conspiracy.
3. “Life today looks more like The Cheesecake Factory menu.”
Our Passions Whisper to Us – Tom Greene – (Wit & Wisdom)
For most of humanity’s existence, knowing what to do, knowing your “purpose”, was simple and clear: survive and propagate. Now, particularly as lifespans lengthen, we face more choices, and more anxiety about those choices, than ever. We don’t want to live a pointless life, but with so many things possible, how do we make the right choices?
Purpose is rarely a one-time discovery.
Greene makes two major points. First, there’s nothing that says you need to choose only One True Purpose for your entire life. Particularly with that longer lifespan, what you do and what you contribute can easily change, and often should. And second, we need not give so much weight to the concept of “One True Purpose” to begin with.
The invitation is to loosen your grip on the idea of a singular, perfect purpose, and instead live with attention and intention.
Do this: Live.
4. “Carbon copies of unhappy people”
How to cook brussels sprouts – Mike Monteiro – (Mike Monteiro’s Good News)
Monteiro is asked “What would be a reader’s best reaction to reading one of your newsletters?”
To re-examine something they’ve believed for a long time.
He includes several examples, including a personal one regarding Brussels sprouts (hence the title).
This is something that we almost never do. And considering … well … everything happening around us, I think it’s more important than ever. After re-examination, you may or may not change your view.
But at least you’ll have given yourself the gift of re-examining a belief you’ve been carrying around. Unexamined beliefs are heavy. They’ll keep you from getting to where you need to be.
Do this: Reconsider.
5. “No one would leave with their testicles.”
We Must Not Devolve Into This (Or We Risk 2,500 Years of Progress) – Ryan Holiday – (Blog)
Holiday takes on recent events by reminding us of how easy it is for us to backslide and lose what’s taken so long to accomplish.
What keeps us from tearing each other apart on an airplane or in society or in the middle of intense disagreements about religion or policy or events isn’t biology. It’s the social technologies we’ve developed over the past 2,500 years. It’s the political process. It’s rules, the norms, the shared agreements about how we behave and coordinate and cooperate with each other. None of which are guaranteed or permanent or self-sustaining.
They require constant work, constant vigilance, constant choosing.
Work. Vigilance. Choosing. We seem to be losing that.
He quotes Robert F. Kennedy’s remarks in a speech after learning of the murder of Martin Luther King.
“Let us dedicate ourselves to what the Greeks wrote so many years ago,” Kennedy said, “to tame the savageness of man and to make gentle the life of this world.”
Do this: Dedicate yourself.
#society #politics #cooperation
6. “Showing up and committing to the craft is what matters most”
Ideas Arise Through Action – Lawrence Yeo – (More to That)
It’s Yeo’s response to the question “Where do your ideas come from?” There’s no magical source of inspiration other than sitting down and starting.
writing itself is where the ideas come from
I think this is a hard concept for many to grasp. I know that when I write an Ask Leo! article, I may have a general sense of what an answer might look like, but it’s very common that the eventual response bears little resemblance to my original concept. The process of thinking it through as I write causes me to explore and discover more, and often more appropriate, concepts to answer a question.
The same applies to any ideation. Even if without a clear destination in mind, just starting gets things flowing and sparks ideas.
Do this: Show up and commit.
7. “The joys of small talk, awkward hugs, and pretending to care”
How To Make Emotionally Intelligent Friendships: 7 Secrets From Research – Eric Barker – (Barking Up the Wrong Tree)
Our loneliness epidemic is at odds with our ability to make friends. And it’s no small thing.
The size and quality of your relationships either equals or exceeds almost all the other factors in determining your mortality.
The essay is about practical steps in creating meaningful friendships. Yes, many will seem familiar, and that’s OK. Sometimes these are exactly things we need to be reminded of more often so that they’ll stand a greater chance of becoming a part of our day-to-day approach to the people around us.
Do this: Be a friend.
Random links
- An E-bike For The Mind – Reflections on AI
- Everything I Know about Self-Publishing – In depth by Kevin Kelly
- The Great Canary is singing – “Young workers are a labor market indicator” and indications are scary.
What I’m reading now
- Tiny Experiments: How to Live Freely in a Goal-Obsessed World – Anne-Laure Le Cunff
- Creative Intellegence – Greg Storey
- So Long and Thanks for All the Fish– Douglas Adams
- Swamp Spirits – Jana Deleon
- The Science Fiction Hall of Fame, Volume One 1929-1964 (Audio)(re-read)
My Reading List – everything I’ve read since 2021.
My Sources Page – the common sources I scan/read regularly.
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