Everyone hurts. Waiting for happiness. AI fear. All or nothing. Unforgivable reality. Pessimism is a cop-out. Just say no.
It’s only by saying no that you can concentrate on the things that are really important.
― Steve Jobs
1. “Confidence is an exercise in weathering uncertainty”
Tales From the Island of Illness – Lawrence Yeo – (More to That)
I was chatting with the author, whom I quoted last week: “Physical health is one of those domains where pain is inescapable.” He pointed me at this article he’d written after the book I quoted last week had been published. His issues got worse.
The line that really resonated with me is this:
I’m fortunate that my condition isn’t life-threatening, and that I’m able to use my limbs and operate my mind.
That’s exactly how I felt after I was able to assess my own post-fall situation.
Most folks tend not to talk about their own trials and tribulations, but Yeo shares his story because it’s all too easy to feel like you’re alone in your illness or distress when that’s not even close to the case. Everyone’s dealing with something.
Do this: Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.
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2. “We think the happiness we seek is just around the corner”
How To Find Happiness in Old Age – Gary Buzzard – (Enjoy the Moment)
This is one of those observations that is a) common from those with a lot of life experience, and b) routinely ignored by those without.
This is probably the most common mistake we make — waiting for some time in the future to travel, or do that special thing we can’t do now because we think we’re not ready, or too busy.
The problem is that “living for the moment” can be seen as irresponsible, and taken to an extreme, it can be. But somewhere there’s a happy (no pun intended) medium where we can be happy right now, do the thing we’ve been putting off, all while still taking care of those responsibilities that are truly important (often by letting go of some of those things that, in the end, don’t really matter quite as much as we think they do).
Do this: Do the thing.
3. “Humans have always feared what they cannot explain.”
Human Error is OK! Machine Madness is a No-No! Why? – Om Malik – (On My Om)
This is something that’s bothered me for a long time, certainly before the advent of what we now call “AI”.
Consider self-driving cars. They’re demonstrably in fewer accidents per mile than human drivers. And yet they’re held to an apparently higher, perhaps even unrealistically higher standard than people are. Why?
Psychologists call it the perfection scheme, the implicit expectation that machines, unlike humans, should perform consistently and without fault.
While a laudable goal, it seems like a clear case of letting “perfection” get in the way of something “much better” than the alternatives.
Do this: Look for perfection, of course, but understand and accept “better”.
4. “A few strong opinions change the culture.”
Avoiding the purity loop – Seth Godin – (Blog)
Are you progressive enough? Are you conservative enough? Those questions, and questions like them, seem to be driving much of the discourse and the collapse of society.
Everyone is entitled to their own take. But when we focus on purity and status at the expense of the journey, the distraction costs all of us.
I see it as a variation of black and white thinking. You’re either completely with us, or you must be completely against us. There’s no room for nuance.
And yet the world — all of it — is nothing but nuance.
Do this: Leave room for nuance.
5. “Reality is unforgivingly complex.”
Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life – Anne Lamott – (ebook)
Insights can come from anywhere. This one is from a book ostensibly on writing (though admittedly, also on life). Insights can also be quite serendipitous, given that I read this shortly after writing the previous takeaway.
It is so much easier to embrace absolutes than to suffer reality.
Again, a variation of black and white thinking mentioned above. This time, the comparison is against “suffering” reality. I get it, reality often sucks, and black and white thinking is one way people cope. But at what cost? Of late, the cost seems very, very high.
Do this: Do your best to deal with what reality throws at you, without retreating into absolutism.
#black-and-white #reality #suffering
6. “Pessimism at scale is a self-fulfilling prophecy.”
Optimism is not a personality flaw – Joan Westenberg – (Blog)
Many consider me a naive Pollyanna because I remain fundamentally optimistic. Yes, there are things that suck, and suck hard right now, but I do believe that the moral arc of the universe trends positive. That can be hard to keep in mind sometimes, but I do try.
Besides, it’s the optimists who change the world, or at least they try.
The optimists who were wrong still attempted something.
The pessimists who were right attempted nothing.
And the world runs on attempts, not on accurate // profound predictions of failure.
Pessimism is, indeed, a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The most dangerous idea I keep running into is that there is nothing to be done. It’s the one idea that, if enough people hold it, comes true – and I refuse to treat that as a serious intellectual position. I refuse to let Quiet Quitting become the dominant intellectual model of our age.
Do this: Keep trying.
7. “A good no is an act of self-respect.”
“No” is my love language – Stepfanie Tyler – (Bad Girl Media)
The essay discusses the concept in several different contexts, ranging from social pressure to FOMO. This paragraph got my attention:
The problem is that the human brain is wired for social acceptance above almost everything else. Neuroscientists have found that rejection triggers the exact same neural pathways as physical pain. When we refuse someone, we risk belonging, and to our primitive brains, a loss of belonging equals death. So we say yes to stay safe. We say yes to keep the tribe happy.
“Keeping the tribe happy” pretty much explains our inability to express opinions (or nuances) that differ from our tribe’s (literal) party line.
Or our inability to say “no” to what the tribe expects of us.
Do this: Be true to yourself.
What I’m reading now
- Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life – Anne Lamott
- The Science of Storytelling: Why Stories Make Us Human and How to Tell Them Better – Will Storr
- The Way of Kings: Book One of the Stormlight Archive – Brandon Sanderson
- The Collected Stories of Arthur C. Clarke – (Audio)
- The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark – Carl Sagan
My Reading List – everything I’ve read since 2021.
My Sources Page – the common sources I scan/read regularly.
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Leo, each one of these this week is a gem! I might be biased (B&W thinking, for example, is a pet peeve), but I found the selection as a whole both encouraging and challenging.