Read before sharing. Laugh for longevity. Sit still, if you can. Changing social norms. Pain hurts. Fear doesn't lie. Getting older. Lies, damned lies, and statistics.
“The road not taken is often an imaginary one.”
― Tom Greene
I found myself listening to Pink Floyd the other day, or rather, an exceptional cover of one of their songs by a YouTuber “sina-drums” (Sina Doering). I was particularly taken by her group’s take on the hit Money, which they also recorded in the same studio as the original: Abbey Road. The performance is just amazing.
That, in turn, led me to listening to the entire Pink Floyd album The Dark Side of the Moon as I drove around the next day. The 50 year old album (technically a 2023 50 year anniversary remaster) brought back many, many memories.
In classic 7 Takeaways “Do this” fashion, take a few minutes to dig up the music that moved you when you were younger and give it a listen.
1. “Whoever sent the link never made it past the headline”
The Unspoken Rules of Information Etiquette – Hana Lee Goldin, MLIS – (Card Catalog)
This is an awesome framing of the unspoken rules we all both follow and all too often break when sharing information. The problem is that especially now, in today’s volatile online environment, understanding and following the rules is more important than ever.
Each of the rules that follow works the same way. The sender does something small before the message goes out, like reading the article first or adding a line of framing, and the recipient feels the difference when that care is missing. Leave out the small step often enough, and the recipient starts trusting our messages less.
All six are important, but for some reason #4 — “Don’t ask for research and then reject the answer” — speaks to me the most as something I see so terribly often on social media.
I suspect you can already bring to mind individuals you see share things that you simply no longer trust. This codifies why.
Do this: Don’t be that person.
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2. “What keeps people in love is not what makes them fall in love in the first place.”
Three Rules for a Lasting Happy Marriage (gift link) – Arthur C. Brooks – (The Atlantic)
My wife and I have been married for 46+ years as I write this. Particularly after my fall late last year, I’ve put a fair amount of thought into what it is that makes a marriage last.
What truly matters is your virtue, your heart, your character, and your soul—all dedicated to your true love and expressed in both the big and the little things of life.
Especially the little things.
Brooks mentions humor earlier in the essay, and I have to emphasize that. It’s certainly a key part of our relationship, in both good and difficult times, and has been from the start. Of course it’s more complex than that, but if you can’t truly laugh with your spouse, it just feels … odd.
Do this: Laugh. Together.
#marriage #laughter #relationships
3. “It’s oddly difficult to do nothing”
How to Exist – David Cain – (Raptitude)
Here’s an experiment for a true daredevil.
Sit there for three minutes, following two rules:
- Don’t do anything.
- Be content.
In other words, just exist. Do nothing else. For three minutes.
I’ll bet you can’t. Certainly not these days.
It’s a skill you can develop, and in doing so you’ll find yourself less frenetic and more calm in general. It’s well worth it.
Do this: Exist.
4. “History never really changes. It just gets a different barber.”
Being Bald is Better? – (The Sacred and The Strange)
The essay begins by pointing out how Romans once outlawed long hair, because it reminded them of barbarians. Romans, apparently, didn’t want to risk confusion with barbarians?
When small-minded people become anxious, they often begin arguing about appearances. Suddenly everyone is expected to dress, speak, worship, eat and look a certain way.
Upon reading that quote my mind went immediately to the 60s where long hair on men was a radical act of non-conformity, and something looked down on by The Establishment™. Sure enough, the author was thinking along the same lines.
In the 1960s, some Americans looked at a young man with shoulder-length hair and saw a menace to civilization.
Silly, in hindsight. The question is simple: what standards are we enforcing (typically via social pressure) that will seem silly 10, 20, or 50 or more years from now?
Do this: Quit obsessing about appearance, and many other social “norms”.
5. “Hurt and harm are not the same.”
How to Combat Pain – Shankar Vedantam, Rachel Zoffness – (Hidden Brain podcast)
Timely, for me, for a variety of reasons. 
This isn’t an “it’s all in your head” explanation of pain … and yet, it kinda sorta is, but in a concrete and much less dismissive way. Zoffness, the guest psychologist who studies the nature of pain, tells two stories. One of a construction worker who’s jaw is impaled with a nail, but he doesn’t feel or realize it until dealing with a “toothache” a week later. The other is of another construction worker who steps on a seven inch nail which shoots right through his boot and caused excruciating pain — except it actually shot between his toes and missed his foot completely.
Clearly there’s more going on than pain being a simple reaction to physical events.
And pain is our body’s warning system, it’s our danger detection system. So, our brain, including this construction worker’s brain, used all available information to decide whether or not to make pain and how much.
Whether or not to “make” pain. Fascinating.
In no way am I negating the very real pain we feel (including myself, as I sit here typing). But it seems that this perspective opens up so much in terms of pain management.
Do this: Be open to alternatives.
6. “Fear won’t lie, because it can’t”
Fear is information. – Joan Westenberg – (Blog)
A different perspective on what we, and others, fear.
If you want to know what someone actually values, pay attention to what they protect.
Words are one thing, but when the rubber hits the road it’s our actions that most clearly express what we value.
Fear, even in ourselves, is something we can use.
Acknowledge the fear and read it carefully; and refuse to be moved by it until you’ve understood what it’s telling you.
Then decide whether the information changes the plan.
That pause takes a little strength of will.
Do this: Understand the fear.
7. “Thriving in old age is an inside job”
How Can I Live a Long Life and Actually Enjoy It? – Gary Buzzard – (Enjoy the Moment)
OK, I’ll admit it. This line got me:
I was 68 before I realized I was a senior and accepted my age.
Well, crap. Guess how old I am. I don’t feel like a senior, except … my body is slowly, and somewhat persistently, starting to raise the issue. Maybe, just maybe, I am. Kinda. Barely. Sort of.
A Harvard study concludes that people who have the highest satisfaction with their own aging have a 43% lower risk of dying from any cause over four years compared with those who were the least satisfied. People with more positive attitudes about growing old tend to live longer and healthier lives than those with negative thoughts about aging.
And that’s the challenge, isn’t it? To maintain a healthy, positive attitude about your own life and aging, particularly in an ageist society that almost explicitly devalues it.
Do this: Work to develop or maintain that positive attitude.
8. “We end up letting politicians manipulate us”
On Numbers – Leo A. Notenboom – (Blog)
In general we are horrific at understanding large numbers, and even worse at understanding statistics.
We end up doing dangerous things because we don’t understand just how dangerous they are.
We end up throwing money away, say in lotteries, because we don’t understand just how heavily the odds are stacked against us. (That lotteries are a “tax on people who don’t understand math” isn’t far from the truth.)
We end up letting politicians manipulate us into supporting their ideas because we have no comprehension of just how outrageously large the numbers they’re throwing around are.
The list goes on.
Do this: Understand how large numbers and statistics can be used to manipulate you, and watch for it.
#manipulation #numbers #statistics
What I’m reading now
- Neuromancer – William Gibson (Re-read)
- The Gate of the Feral Gods: Dungeon Crawler Carl Book 4 – Matt Dinniman
- Good Writing: 36 Ways to Improve Your Sentences – Neal Allen, Anne Lamott
- The Way of Kings: Book One of the Stormlight Archive – Brandon Sanderson
- The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark – Carl Sagan
My Reading List – everything I’ve read since 2021.
My Sources Page – the common sources I scan/read regularly.
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