Tell Me How to Be Happy – 7 Takeaways No. 200

Happy Happy. Leave me alone. Curiosity FTW. Books FTW. Being unshakeable. Serendiptiy + curiosity = inspiration. Understanding the enemy.

“We are what we repeatedly do.
Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
-Aristotle

1. “Just tell me how to be happy already!”

New study: How to be happy – Jacqueline Nesi, PhD – (Techno Sapiens)

After a quick comment on previous studies on happiness (spoiler: “a lot of these papers were total nonsense”), Nesi moves on to current research and thinking on the topic.

Delivering on my title above, add to your life:

1. Express gratitude
2. Be more social
3. Act happy
4. Increase novelty
5. Help others

Remove from your life:

1. Reduce unpleasant time use
2. Reduce smartphone and social media use

Naturally, Nesi explains each of these in detail.

Now, these may seem obvious, or perhaps even over-recommended, and yet, here we are, not following them, and unhappily at that.

Do this: Don’t just read the suggestions, do the suggestions.

#happiness

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2. “An expression of solidarity for those of us who love being left the fuck alone”

One is the Loveliest Number – Sarah Knight – (No F*cks Given)

Being an introvert is not a crime against humanity. Not accepting it, especially in yourself, might be.

Here’s the list that got my attention:

• Needs absolute quiet to concentrate? Check.
• Takes a lot of time to make decisions? Double check.
• Prefers writing over talking? Triple check.
• Feels tired after being in a crowd? Check-itty-check, check, check.
• Doesn’t like group projects? CHECK AF.

I resemble that list. And that’s OK. We spend so much energy trying to be what we think we’re supposed to be that we forget to be who we are. It doesn’t mean we’re selfish, or outcasts, or abandoning society, or even that we’re not contributing to society at all. We’re just doing it all in our own, introverted, way.

Do this: Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken. (Possible hat tip to Oscar Wilde, but there’s no confirmation he originated the remark.)

#introversion

3. “The era of getting ahead by simply “doing your job” is long over”

5 ways to turn curiosity into long-term success – Jeremy Sirota – (Big Think)

My initial reaction to reading the statement above was to wonder if those days were ever really here? To really get ahead always involved going above and beyond, at least in my experience.

The essay’s focused on career advice, but I find the whole concept of curiosity applicable in so many other realms.

If you cultivate curiosity, your growth will be steady.

It’s more than growth. It’s happiness, it’s satisfaction, it’s acceptance, it’s sociability, and so much more. It’s an important trait that we’re all born with that seems to be educated out of us at an early age.

Do this: Be more curious. Stay curious.

#curiosity

4. “Reading books, even for pleasure, can’t compete with TikTok, Instagram, YouTube.”

The Elite College Students Who Can’t Read Books (gift link) – Rose Horowitch – (The Atlantic)

The subtitle for this essay sums it up in a nutshell:

To read a book in college, it helps to have read a book in high school.

It’s not happening. The finger points to social media, of course, but it’s significantly more complex than that. Changing educational and testing requirements, factor in as well.

“There’s no testing skill that can be related to … Can you sit down and read Tolstoy? ” he said. And if a skill is not easily measured, instructors and district leaders have little incentive to teach it.

Long form reading, especially books, “stimulates a number of valuable mental habits, including critical thinking and self-reflection” — skills I care about deeply, and skills I think we can all agree are on the decline.

Do this: Read a book. The whole thing.

#reading

5. “Know What You Don’t Know”

The 11 Traits of Utterly Unfuckwithable People – Robin Wilding – (Wilding Out)

What does it mean?

It’s unshakeability. It means their base as a person is so strong it may sway with the winds but it won’t shake, crumble, or break.

I think we all know people like that. I do, and I admire and aspire.

Yes, this is another listicle of traits most people will nod their heads in agreement over, and then proceed to completely ignore. They’re all good, and worth reflecting on, not unlike trait #4.

Do this: Become unfuckwithable.

#equanimity #strength #unshakeability

6. “Creative minds seem irresistibly attracted to novel or unconventional information.”

A key part of creativity is picking up on what others overlook – Madeleine Gross – (Psyche)

One of the interesting themes of my recent reading has been that of serendipity and cross pollination. From jack-of-all-trades who randomly combine ideas from multiple different disciplines into something new, to the terminally curious, “staying in your lane” doesn’t seem as fruitful for creativity as some would believe.

information that gets flagged doesn’t necessarily have to be directly related to the problem at hand; its value lies in the potential connections it can inspire, leading to innovative and unexpected outcomes

Do you remember the concept of being “well read”? I’ve not heard it for some time, as it’s seeming to have fallen out of favor. But it feels very much like the foundation for serious creativity.

Do this: Embrace serendipity. Be curious about it, even.

#curiosity #serendipity #jack-of-all-trades

7. “We understand you your gripes, your anger, what matters to you, better”

How to fight (and win) an information war – Peter Pomerantsev – (TEDxMidAtlantic / YouTube)

I don’t normally quote bona fides, but since I’d never heard of this person, here’s a snippet: “Pomerantsev is a senior fellow at Johns Hopkins University … Born in Kyiv, Ukraine, Peter grew up in the U.K. He is the author of several books about Russian and other authoritarian propaganda; the third of these, How to Win an Information War: The Propagandist Who Outwitted Hitler, was published in 2024.” The TEDx talk leverages the latter heavily.

The upshot is that preaching doesn’t work. Trying to get “the others” to understand how righteous you and your side are is doomed to failure. What stands a chance is something I’ve heard over and over in different ways from different authors on this topic: show that you understand them. Only then do you even stand a chance of being listened to.

Pomerantsev shares his concepts by telling the story of a little-known British counter-propaganda project. The complete quote:

Look we’re the English dressed up as Germans and we understand you your gripes, your anger, what matters to you, better than the Nazis. And if we, your enemies, not in a cultural War but in a real war, can understand you better than your bosses, do you really need them? Are they really looking out for you when they say they’re going to be your retribution or are they just thinking about themselves?

Can you look at “the other side” and honestly say that you understand their issues better than the “leaders” they follow?

Do this: Seek first to understand. (Credit to Stephen Covey.)

#propaganda #understanding

Random links

• Thou Art Not Too Old: Viking Edition – More of my AI shenanigans
• This photo on the National Mall captivated the country decades ago. The real story behind it remained a mystery — until now. – Very touching story. (Gift link.)
• Someone Put Facial Recognition Tech onto Meta’s Smart Glasses to Instantly Dox Strangers

What I’m reading

In progress:

• Swamp Sniper – Jana DeLeon
• How to Read a Book – Mortimer J. Adler, Charles Van Doren
• Where Good Ideas Come From – Steven Johnson (re-read)
• The Sense of Style: The Thinking Person’s Guide to Writing in the 21st Century – Steven Pinker (audio)

Daily:

• A Calendar of Wisdom: Daily Thoughts to Nourish the Soul, Written and Selected from the World’s Sacred Texts – Leo Tolstoy

A full list of my common sources is on the sources page, and I list the books I’ve read on my Reading List page.

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-Leo

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