Front porch discussions. Are you helping or hindering? Be kind, not an asshole. Trendy diagnosis. Returning home. Acting our of fear. Look for all the data.
There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.
– Aldous Huxley
1. “The backyard patio killed communal living and relationships”
Why We Lost Our Sense of Community – Tom Greene – (Wit & Wisdom)
A fascinating premise: the architectural switch from open front porches to private backyard patios fostered some of the decline in community we’re experiencing.
Yes, in many ways, the front porch was the precursor to Facebook and Twitter. The front porch facilitated a sense of belonging, of community.
I’m not sure I buy into it 100%, as homes with open front porches are more of a stereotype than they are (or were) a common occurrence across the country. Yes, there were certainly neighborhoods where they were common, but those were almost certainly outnumbered by other designs elsewhere. And not everyone lives (or lived) as close as would be required for Greene’s idyllic postulation to be true.
Nonetheless, it’s an interesting thought exercise: how have we architected society, both literally and figuratively, to foster or discourage community interactions?
Do this: Interact.
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2. “You are a product of your environment”
Tips to Maintain Your Focus, Concentration, and Discipline – Darius Foroux – (Blog)
As the title of the article implies, Foroux shares techniques for maintaining focus, etc.. Some of them boil down to “buck up, kiddo, hard work is hard work”, some are obvious, like “back away from the phone, sir”, but the takeaway above struck me as a little more encompassing.
Because if you surround yourself with distractions, negativity, and bad habits, and people that drag you down, you will struggle to focus and stay disciplined.
This implicates not only those annoying notifications and the pull of social media, but all characteristics of the environment we put ourselves in, including the people we choose to associate with.
That, in turn, raises two important questions: who are you hanging around with, and are you one of those people dragging down others?
Do this: Make sure you’re a positive addition to others’ environments.
3. “To not let assholes turn you into an asshole”
Here’s How I’m Preparing For The Next Four Years – Ryan Holiday – (Medium)
Holiday is well known for his books and writings on Stoic philosophy. As you might expect, this essay includes several items that clearly and directly result from that approach to life.
But there’s more. Much more.
Of course, politics matter. But so do the small, easily overlooked acts of kindness.
Regardless of what you think of philosophy in general, or Stoicism specifically, many of the items he lists are pragmatic approaches to dealing with today’s turmoil. It’s well worth a skim.
Do this: Focus on what you can control. (OK, that’s Stoicism 101.)
4. “Something is deeply wrong with the mental health system”
Is Psychiatry Keeping Us Sick? – Nir Eyal – (Nir and Far)
With everything going on right now this feels like “just when we need it the most, the system is structured to fail”.
It’s complicated, because there are most certainly individuals with issues in need of treatment. But part of the complication is that it’s become very trendy to self-diagnose as ADHD, OCD, or any number of other popular-at-the-time diagnoses, without the background to accurately back it up.
Treatment suffers from an additional problem:
Unlike physical health care, mental health care—medication, but also therapy—often lacks an “offboarding” plan.
It seems that we’re to use meds or therapy forever, in lieu of learning developing coping mechanisms and self-reliance. With “the system” seemingly poised to let more and more people down, it seems relying on ourselves might be a more practical, valuable approach. It might even be the only approach for many.
Do this: Get professional help if you need it, of course. But don’t be quite so quick to pigeonhole yourself.
5. “Your psychological centre of gravity”
Reality is right here – Oliver Burkeman – (The Imperfectionist)
Honestly, this quote spoke to me, loudly:
I think I may scream if I encounter one more newspaper column informing me that “now is not the time to turn away,” while offering no suggestions as to what that might entail besides working oneself into a frothing rage that somehow only ever ends up aiding one’s opponents.
These are tough times, and we’re all equipped (or not) to deal with it in our own, unique ways. Regardless of our skills or strengths, it’s all-too-easy to get wrapped up in the shitshow scrolling by on our screens.
Treating the world of national and international events as a place that you visit – to campaign or persuade, donate or volunteer, to do whatever you feel is demanded of you – and that you then return from.
Emphasis mine: visit as needed, and return. Your reality, and your ability for greatest impact, is here.
Do this: Travel, but come home.
6. “A few ideas that are keeping me grounded”
Open Thread: What are your most helpful ideas for difficult times? – Mike Sowden – (Everything is Amazing)
There are, as the title implies, several ideas presented in this essay, and they’re quite good. The first one got my attention, because it adds an interesting observation to something I believe:
Other people are, on the whole, decent – and when they’re not, they’re usually acting out of fear.
Yes, there are evil people out there. We might even agree on who some of them might be. But by-and-large most people are not; most are good. The insight, for me, was that if people acting in ways we might consider as not being decent, it’s likely because they’re acting out of fear.
When I wonder how some people can do what they do, or think what they think, it’s often easy to explain by understanding what it is they fear. This is independent of whether those fears are justified. The fact is, these people are afraid, and that fear is driving actions.
Do this: Consider: what are you afraid of?
7. “This is where you would fall for a popular scam”
What is survivorship bias, and why it matters for your daily life – Arjun Gupta – (ClearerThinking.org)
I’m tempted to call survivorship bias one of the most pernicious way we fool ourselves every day.
My favorite example is my father. He began smoking at the age of 13. His last cigarette was over 70 years later, after falling, breaking his hip, and moving to a non-smoking facility. Seventy years. No lung cancer, the most common fear of long term smoking. And he died at age 91. Some years before he mentioned that smoking must not be so bad because he was doing great.
No. Just … no. That’s a classic case of survivorship bias. Yes, he survived. That doesn’t account for the thousands, or perhaps even millions that did not. Just because he made it to one end of the bell curve doesn’t mean the bell curve doesn’t exist.
We do this all the time. Particularly when evaluating things we want to be true.
The article has several concrete steps to identify the “silent evidence” that is just as, if not more important than the evidence we happen to notice.
Do this: Look for the evidence.
Random links
- Why I’m Switching to Signal – Ask Leo!
What I’m reading now
- A Little History of Philosophy – Nigel Warburton
- Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff and It’s All Small Stuff – Richard Carlson
- Awe: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How It Can Transform Your Life (Audio)
My Reading List – everything I’ve read since 2021.
My Sources Page – the common sources I scan/read regularly.
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-Leo
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