Mattering in the very long run. Word salad. Dealing with "those" people. Sometimes just listen. Awe and wonder. Acceptance as meditation. Acceptance as strategy.
“It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows.”
– Epictetus
1. “The burden of significance is exhausting.”
You Are Insignificant. That’s a Good Thing. – Joan Westenberg – (Blog)
We spend so much time trying to matter. We strive for significance and to be remembered. And yet, there will come a time when each of us will be completely forgotten.
Understanding that is liberating.
The liberation of insignificance: it lets you focus on what actually matters to you, right now, without the weight of cosmic importance crushing you. You can be kind to people because kindness feels good, without trying to tip the scales of history. You can create art because creation is satisfying, without competing for immortality. You can love people fully, knowing that love will end (one way or another)and that’s fine.
I see it as another perspective on paying attention to the present moment.
The entire essay is beautiful. Recommended.
Do this: Maintain perspective.
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2. “Bad writing is a sign of bad thinking.”
How to Think Clearly in a World of Noise – Darius Foroux – (Newsletter)
We’ve all experienced it: reading a paragraph, or more, of something only to realize that hidden amongst the buzzwords and flowery language was … nothing. It was completely content-free.
It feels like English, but you have no clue what it means.
That’s because the author either had nothing to say (but apparently needed to produce words) or was attempting to hide something (think terms of service trying to hide the fact that you’re giving away all your rights). Regardless, the writing was anything but clear. And we know why.
We hardly ever practice our thinking and writing skills.
Both writing and even thinking — specifically critical thinking — seem to be falling out of favor.
Do this: Practice. Think. Write.
#thinking #critical-thinking #writing
3. “‘Difficult people’… trigger irritation, frustration, and even anger”
13 Short Stoic Rules For Handling Difficult People Like a Philosopher – Thomas Oppong – (Postanly Weekly)
There seems to be an excess of difficult people these days, doesn’t there? Whether it’s aggressive personality disorder or just someone who doesn’t know how to disagree thoughtfully, we seem to face the challenge daily, and in many venues.
The TL;DR for the essay really boils down to something we’ve all heard by now:
You can’t control others, only your reactions.
And yet, hearing it, even often, doesn’t mean we’ve internalized it. The essay’s list makes the concept more tangible by example, and perhaps something a little easier to act on.
Do this: Choose your reaction.
4. “Sometimes people just need to be heard.”
How to whistle for help – Mike Monteiro – (Mike Monteiro’s Good News)
Addressing the question: “How can you be of help to someone when they don’t want anyone to help them?” (Spoiler: you can’t.) Monteiro talks about help in its various forms and with its various assumptions and ramifications. One on-point thought:
Sometimes our offer of help is really about people not doing something the way we would do it.
So very true. We think we’re helping, but particularly if that help is unsolicited, it’s not uncommon for that “help” to be completely ignored.
Sometimes just listening to people is incredibly helpful. So many people just need to feel heard.
Sadly, this seems incredibly hard for people to do with simple acceptance and without judgement.
Do this: Listen.
5. “I am in awe and therefore I wonder …”
More Than a Feeling – Sean B. Carroll – (Nautilus)
The essay focuses mostly on awe and its relationship to science, and scientific progress and discovery. (The “pale blue dot” being one stellar example.) Of course, it’s much more than that.
Awe’s cognitive, emotional, and behavioral effects prompt some psychologists to view these experiences as antidotes to the struggles of daily life and even societal conflicts.
One statement that got me thinking, though, was this:
What wonder and awe both do is help us to recognize gaps in our knowledge.
We live in an environment where we are often led to believe that we already know what there is needed to be known, and with an unwarranted level of certainty about that knowledge. I wonder if this is, in part, a reason for what I see as a decline in awe and wonder at the world around us. Or perhaps it’s vice versa.
Do this: As per the essay: FIND AWE.
6. “Acceptance is a very deep form of meditation.”
Handbook for Hard Times: A monk’s guide to fearless living – Gelong Thubten – (ebook)
Acceptance has come up for me in a few different ways this week. It’s essentially the concept of understanding what is and is not under your control, and letting go of trying to control the latter. It’s a common concept in several philosophies, including both Buddhism and Stoicism.
It’s also very difficult, especially if the thing(s) not in your control are particularly distasteful, frustrating, or painful. Acceptance doesn’t really change any of that, but removes the additional suffering associated with trying to change something you have no control over.
The book is primarily, though not only, about meditation, and its ability to help us navigate difficult times. You can imagine that I’m drawn to it particularly because these are difficult times.
Do this: Let go of what you have no control over.
7. “Always err on the side of acceptance rather than control”
Tiny Experiments: How to Live Freely in a Goal-Obsessed World – Anne-Laure Le Cunff – (ebook)
This is one of the other instances of “acceptance” that spoke to me this week. Specifically:
… always err on the side of acceptance rather than control. Ride the wave of chaos instead of vainly trying to contain it. The point is not to create a master plan that gives you the illusion of power over the situation; rather, it is to de-escalate the consequences of any setback so you can move forward rather than give up.
The context is completely different: rather than a philosophical treatise, this is part of a practical overview of how to make choices and run experiments within your own life, and dealing with the inevitable curve-balls you’ll experience.
Accepting life’s disruptions doesn’t make you passive; it makes you agile.
And yet, even in a completely different context, the message, and the method, remain the same: acceptance of what is truly out of your control is a very powerful coping technique. Among other things, it allows you to identify and focus on those things you can affect.
Do this: Err on the side of acceptance.
What I’m reading now
- A Night in the Lonesome October – Roger Zelazny
- Tiny Experiments: How to Live Freely in a Goal-Obsessed World – Anne-Laure Le Cunff
- Handbook for Hard Times: A monk’s guide to fearless living – Gelong Thubten
- The Science Fiction Hall of Fame, Volume One 1929-1964 (Audio)(re-“read”)
My Reading List – everything I’ve read since 2021.
My Sources Page – the common sources I scan/read regularly.
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