Listen more. Was Goldilocks curious? Fooling yourself about the future. Bending reality to your will. Bending your will to reality. Comfort is a trap. Exercise might not be as bad as you think.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.
— Philip K. Dick
For a variety of reasons, I’ve been trying to re-engage with my meditation practice. One thing that helps is doing so outside, on a covered porch. Here’s a view of what I see when I do so. This morning was a little different, as low clouds and mist changed the atmosphere, literally. It’s also quite a relaxing experience in the rain. When it’s not raining, I’m often joined by local crows, whom I feed, encouraging them to hang out with me for a while.
Take care,
1. “We often talk when we should be listening”
The Quiet Way of Wisdom – Tom Greene – (Wit & Wisdom)
“Wisdom” is described as many different things. I like Greene’s thoughts on the subject.
When wise people do speak, it’s not rushed; it’s thoughtful and considerate. Wise people listen first and move slowly toward their conclusions. By simply listening, wise people “teach” others to logically reach their own conclusions as well.
…
The wisest among us are often not those speaking the loudest or offering the clever quips. They’re the ones who have mastered the increasingly rare art of being fully present, listening deeply, and creating spaces for others to find their way.
Listening is hard. Particularly with all the distractions we’ve become used to, it’s difficult not to be a distraction ourselves. Slow down. Listen. I know it’s something I aspire to.
Do this: Listen.
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2. “You need just the right level of uncertainty”
How to find the Goldilocks zone of curiosity – Anne-Laure Le Cunff – (Big Think)
This has implications for anyone trying to teach anything.
Curiosity followed an inverted-U shape: People were less curious when they were highly confident they knew the answer, but also when they had essentially no idea.
If people don’t care, there’s no reason for them to be curious. If they think they already know the answer, ditto. The trick is to find the sweet spot in which to present your information.
There’s another lever, which is more difficult to adjust these days because it’s being overused: importance. Everything seems to be positioned as critical, regardless of whether it is. Nonetheless, perceived importance is something else that can increase curiosity.
Do this: Stay curious yourself.
3. “We tend to imagine our future selves as having more time”
Ness Letters: The Future-Self Fallacy – Anne-Laure Le Cunff – (Ness Labs)
While I most definitely fall for this fallacy often, some time ago I realized something: This, right now, is life. Not tomorrow, not next month, now. Quit waiting for “someday”.
Stop postponing life itself. Rest, exercise, friends, reading, thinking… Do not get these things scheduled for the mythical quieter month ahead. Make space for the parts of your life that matter to you right now, whether that’s a good book, a long walk, or a coffee chat.
It’s simply too easy to think that you’ll have more time, energy, or resources at some vague point in the future. Not only is that time not guaranteed, but the whole “more everything” is unlikely for the very same reasons you don’t have enough of everything right now.
Do this: Live now.
4. “That moment of insanity, where you try to command reality to be different”
Reality Only Takes Yes for an Answer – David Cain – (Raptitude)
Cain’s focus is on the curveballs that reality throws at us, like forgetting the groceries in the car or dropping a jar of pickles. In each case, we might react with a loud “No!”, almost ordering reality to be different. Reality doesn’t care.
Wisdom might be reducible to “how able you are to meet reality as it is and act accordingly.” A lack of wisdom is grasping at levels of control you don’t really have.
This reminds me in many ways of the Stoic and Buddhist philosophy of knowing what you have control over and not trying to control everything else. It’s a powerful, even freeing, concept if you can pull it off.
Do this: Recognize what you do and do not control.
5. “Reality always wins”
Intellectuals are F*cking Idiots – Mark Manson – (Blog)
Manson takes some shots at those he refers to as “intellectuals”, but one of the most important points applies to us all.
Idiots don’t update their views about the world when new information comes in.
In many cases, we even go well out of our way to avoid new information that contradicts our worldview. And that? That leads to division and polarization, and so much of what we’re experiencing today.
Look, the world is a scary and unpredictable place. It is human nature to crave some model to give it some sense of predictability. But, the real problem is that our models of reality also give us an identity and a sense of belonging and fighting for them gives our empty lives a sense of meaning
We want predictability and community. New information can threaten both. And yet … there’s just no fighting reality. It always wins.
Do this: Be open to changing your views.
6. “Comfort is a quiet atrophy”
Unbruised Prosperity Makes You Weak – JA Westenberg – (Blog)
Allow a little stress and adversity into your life. I know, I know — many might say they can’t avoid it right now because of … well, because of everything. I get that. But in many ways, plenty of aspects of our lives remain comfortable. Challenge those aspects so as to build up resilience. Even if it’s just physical exercise to be better prepared for the inevitable fall.
Your judgment works the same way. So does your nerve. So does your ability to sit with uncertainty, hear criticism without collapsing, make a decision without perfect information, be wrong in public, and keep going.
Like muscles, each of those, and more, strengthens in the face of moderate adversity.
Do this: Keep challenging yourself.
7. “Exercise can consistently and significantly reduce both acute and chronic pain”
Gentle Exercise May be More Effective Than Medications at Managing Chronic Pain (gift link) – Jake Currie – (Nautilus)
For an assortment of reasons, pain management has been on my radar for a while. Given that pain seems to accompany aging, whether we like it or not, it seems a topic worth investing in.
I found this conclusion fascinating:
Importantly, we found that more exercise wasn’t necessarily better. In fact, shorter-duration and lower-intensity programs showed greater reductions in pain, suggesting people may not need to exercise harder or for longer to experience meaningful benefits.
I’ve never been a hard/long exercise guy — almost anything but. This gives me some hope that it could still become part of an overall strategy.
Do this: Exercise, to a level that makes sense for you.
Random links
Other things I found interesting this week.
What I’m reading now
- Strong Ground: The Lessons of Daring Leadership, the Tenacity of Paradox, and the Wisdom of the Human Spirit – Brené Brown
- Swamp Shoot – Jana Deleon
My Reading List – everything I’ve read since 2021.
My Sources Page – the common sources I scan/read regularly.
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Hi Leo
Skimmed your reading list(s) which are most impressive as a ‘must read’ prompt list.
Could I urge you to read ’53days – how Hitler dismantled a democracy’ by Timothy Ryback.
An easy and illuminating read with immediate & deep relevance to current events.
This is my ‘takeaway’ book this week.
3. “We tend to imagine our future selves as having more time” ✔
Several good nuggets to think about and see if I need to update my thinking and challenge my current views and actions. Thank you!