What mindfulness gets you. How you manage attention. Why you're not really interacting with your friends. Where writing takes you. Who's not a bully. When not to despair. Which opinions to care about.
“If builders built buildings the way programmers write programs,
then the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization.”
– Weinberg’s Second Law
In my “extensive” research this week, I buckled down and located something I thought I’d lost long ago: a collection of “Laws of Computing”, of which the above is just one. I decided to post ’em on Ask Leo! — you can check out the whole list here: The Laws of Computing.
Take care,
1. “Rehearsing mindfulness in a daily practice helps you remember it in the rush of your life.”
How Mindfulness Could Save Your Life by Preventing A Fall – Gary Buzzard – (Enjoy the Moment)
OK, one might say I’m a tad too close to the example(s) used in this essay. Nonetheless, the takeaway above captures one of the more important reasons behind meditation and mindfulness practice: it’s not about the practice. Or, rather, that daily practice is really about helping you be more present throughout the rest of your day.
Mindfulness is looking both ways before you cross the street. It’s paying attention.
It’s paying attention. Seriously, that’s all it really boils down to. And yet in our busy lives, it’s so easy not to pay attention to something important.
Like the stairs.
Do this: Pay attention. Watch your step.
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2. “You’re competing with everything in their pocket.”
You have 47 seconds before you lose them – Darius Foroux – (Blog)
The 47 seconds number is about online content, which of course I care about deeply. The essay, however, extrapolates some to in-person interaction. Foroux references his light framework for holding attention: a short Setup, a longer Build-up to establish tension, and then a Payoff to deliver on the promise.
What I found interesting, though, was this near the end:
Most people are terrible at this. They ramble. They bury the point. They over-explain. They assume the listener will stay out of politeness.
He positions this as “good news”, since it means mastering the technique will help you stand out. I’m tempted to also think of it as bad news, as anyone who’s been faced with a rambler will attest.
Do this: Manage attention. Tell a good, focused story.
3. “A thousand engineers on one side of the screen, optimising for your attention”
Outrage is letting someone else set the frame – Joan Westenberg – (Blog)
The full quote is from Tristan Harris, quoted by Westenberg:
A thousand engineers on one side of the screen, optimising for your attention; one tired person on the other side, trying to hold their ground.
It inspired today’s featured image up top. I truly wish more people could internalize that image. It feels like we’re simply interacting with a friend or handful of friends and interests, but in reality, there are thousands of engineers on the other side of the screen trying their damnedest to influence us with outrage and more. And this applies not just to social media, but to almost any form of online publication these days.
Do this: See through the influence.
4. “How will they develop critical thinking skills?”
This Is The Most Important Skill You Can Have In Life – Ryan Holiday – (Blog)
It’s already kinda scary, in that various things conspire to reduce our attention spans and our willingness to invest the effort to actually think. And by think, I mean really understand an issue, your position on an issue, how something works, why things are, and so on. Instead, we’re trained to quickly jump to poorly informed conclusions, often believing we’ve discovered The One Truth, which we then defend like a mama bear defending her cubs.
Writing has always been a way to force yourself to think something through. And it’s on the decline.
The purpose of the school essay—of any piece of writing at all—is not the end product on the page. It’s the person YOU are on the other side of having done it. It’s the thinking long and hard about something. It’s the slow, tedious, difficult work of figuring out what you actually [think].
I’m not sure I’ll say any writing, but certainly most of it. It’s not the destination, it’s the journey of thought. Fewer and fewer are taking that trip.
Do this: Write.
5. “Everyone has a story”
The Founders of an Anti-Bullying Nonprofit on How to Raise Kind Kids – Lauren Paul, Molly Thompson – (Nice News)
I stumbled on this as part of my daily search for stories for Not All News Is Bad, and it spoke to me because I’ve been there: I was bullied in grade school. One value of this article is that it included concrete steps for parents to take.
Remind them that everyone has a story.
This is something we say to every single student we meet, and we mean it every single time: You have no idea what the person sitting next to you is carrying. You don’t know what they came to school with that morning or what they’re going home to when the bell rings. Inhumanity so often comes from forgetting this.
This is something we’ve seen here before in various contexts. Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind.
Recommended reading for parents, for sure, but a great reminder for us all.
Do this: Be kind.
6. “There’s Power in Hope”
Despair is Not Wisdom – Hank Green – (vlogbrothers – YouTube)
Hank’s brother John posted a video showing, and celebrating, the hospital they and their followers are responsible for bringing into existence in Sierra Leone. That video, and videos that share positivity in general, generate two types of responses: positive, and “but what about…?”.
I don’t want to live in a mind where every piece of good news has to be immediately escorted out of the room by a committee of caveats.
It’s popular to dunk on anything positive as being naive and ignorant of all the problems in the world. Nothing could be further from the truth. Sharing positivity doesn’t imply that the real issues in our world are being ignored. If anything it’s how those real problems stand a chance of getting solved; by demonstrating that hope can accomplish things.
Without hope:
… there’s a hospital in Sierra Leone that would not exist. And there are babies who would otherwise be dead, but they’re not. They can be tickled.
Hope is how we persist.
It’s a good video, worth five and half minutes of your time.
Do this: Have hope.
7. “One of the best aspects of modern life is that we can choose our tribe.”
How to Stop Caring About What People Think – Mark Manson – (Medium)
An interesting perspective not on how to stop caring completely (that’s what sociopaths do, apparently), but rather understanding when and how to care.
Caring about others’ opinions makes us empathetic, compassionate, and able to form friendships. In fact, other people’s opinions and perceptions often lead to joy, empathy, compassion, and deep connections.
Of course it’s evolutionary. Getting kicked out of the tribe was a death sentence. But that’s no longer the case.
Instead of not caring what people think, focus on finding better people to surround yourself with — people who respect and admire you and can teach you something valuable.
I know, it’s not that simple, particularly seeing how people today will twist themselves in knots trying to stay and fit in to their existing tribes. But nonetheless, it’s a choice.
Do this: Choose your tribe.
Random links
- We need to talk about AI… – Spencer Greenberg from clearerthinking.org has a nuanced take on AI and its implications.
What I’m reading now
- Marsh Mystics – Jana DeLeon
- The Science of Storytelling: Why Stories Make Us Human and How to Tell Them Better – Will Storr
- The Way of Kings: Book One of the Stormlight Archive – Brandon Sanderson
- The Collected Stories of Arthur C. Clarke – (Audio)
- The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark – Carl Sagan
My Reading List – everything I’ve read since 2021.
My Sources Page – the common sources I scan/read regularly.
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