Where was he? Merits over process. Age assumptions. Fear explains a lot. What our great-grandkids will think was ludicrous. Connecting with strangers. Listen, but talk too.
“Science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom.”
— Isaac Asimov
The world keeps moving faster and faster, doesn’t it? News headlines, tech advances, and more all seem to arrive at an ever-increasing pace. It’s all we can do to keep up. Some topics — AI, war, politics — seem relatively consistent right now, but we certainly do continue to be flooded with what feels like items arriving more quickly than ever. On one hand, that’s inevitable. On the other hand, it causes us to perhaps move on from important issues before we’re ready, since we feel we have to deal with the next important issue.
Hopefully you (and I) can set aside the time to slow down and think.
I hope your week is going well.
Take care,
1. “They were the kids every parent dreams about.”
Where Was the One Good Man? – Tom Greene – (Wit & Wisdom)
There’s a ton to unpack about the Cornell rape case, but Greene’s question is a frightening one. There were something like 57 “men” (boys?) on the group chat. And not one, not a single one, said or did anything to try to stop what was happening or even question it.
Character is what happens when you’re standing in a room and everybody is doing something you know is wrong. And you stop it.
Are we raising a generation of characterless and entitled kids? Or are those the kind of kids who bubble up in the upper ranks of higher education?
Either way, I don’t like the answer.
Do this: Teach your children well. Please.
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2. “We judge the final product on its merits — not on how it came to be.”
Stop Trying To Figure Out What’s Written By AI – Josh Spector – (Blog)
Every time I mention AI in anything close to a positive light over on Ask Leo! (and occasionally here), I get a flood of hate mail. There are people who actively and loudly hate the very concept of AI.
I wish people were less interested in figuring out what’s AI and more interested in figuring out what’s actually valuable
I feel the same way. People will discard absolutely wonderful work without a thought because they think it might have used AI in some way. It’s like disliking a beautiful home because the builder used a nail gun instead of a traditional hammer.
What a shame. I said this myself in a previous 7 Takeaways commentary on a different essay: “If some writing speaks to you, moves you, answers a conundrum for you, does it really matter how that writing was generated?”
I guess for some the answer is yes. It’s their loss.
Do this: Consider the content before critiquing the tools used.
3. “The moment your birth year is entered, the room begins preparing for your inability to cope.”
At sixty-four, you’re expected to know better. At sixty-five, they ask who brought you – Hans Casteels – (The Oncology Underground)
Casteels, a thoroughly entertaining writer, takes on the imaginary switch that gets flipped when you suddenly enter the over-65 club.
… the moment your birth year is entered, the room begins preparing for your inability to cope.
I see it differently. I would prefer to see evidence-based reactions. Trust me, there are people (well) under 65 that are unable to cope. There are individuals (well) over that put the rest of us to shame as they navigate the world with extreme capability. Age is a datapoint, yes, but it’s only one of many. Maybe look at some of the others before judging?
Do this: Remember, age is just one number.
4. “Statistics rarely overcome stories.”
Addressing fear – Seth Godin – (Blog)
This short post (as all of Godin’s tend to be) struck me because it explains a lot. So much of what we’re seeing around us is fear-based, and specifically fear of change. Change is happening at a pace we’ve never seen before, and at a rate many, if not most, find deeply uncomfortable.
In response to “security theater” at the airport:
Until we get familiar enough with the new status quo, what performance would be a helpful way to create the feeling of safety?
What if we could create even more of that feeling with a different approach?
And while we’re at it, what if we spent time becoming familiar with the thing you’re afraid of?
I’d also challenge you to spend time understanding what those around you are afraid of, particularly those you might disagree with.
Do this: Understand that change is inevitable. Make a conscious decision about how you want to cope with it.
5. “They don’t have to be perfect, they just have to be better than us.”
7 Normal Things You Do That Will Horrify Your Grandkids – Daniel Pink – (YouTube)
The takeaway above relates to item number one: “we let human beings drive cars.” There’s a lot in the way right now, not the least of which are AI billionaires and public perception, but one hundred years from now? Driving yourself might be considered extremely old-fashioned, quaint, and even unacceptably dangerous.
Every “What the hell were they thinking?” starts as “Life as that’s just how it is.” The hard part is seeing “That’s just how it is.” while you’re living inside of it.
It’s an interesting perspective shift to view what we take as normal and everyday and consider how antiquated it might someday seem.
Do this: Consider future perspectives.
6. “In just 60 seconds, the right ritual can light a spark.”
How to Master the Art of “Deep Talk” (as opposed to “Small Talk”) – Adam Grant – (via Susan Cain’s “The Quiet Life with Susan Cain” newsletter)
The idea is simple. Skip the small talk and go right to deeper topics — even with strangers.
Sure enough, when strangers are randomly assigned to go straight to deep talk rather than small talk, they have a better vibe and end up feeling happier and closer than expected. Although extraverts and introverts get the same joy out of going deep, it gives introverts a bigger boost in connection.
Gotta say, as a dyed-in-the-wool introvert, this scares the poop out of me. This concept of “joy” out of going deep with a complete stranger feels like a contradiction. And yet … maybe there’s less to risk if you consider that you may never see said stranger again? I don’t know.
Do this: Be more vulnerable.
7. “‘Be a good listener’ turned into ‘don’t say too much.'”
How to become a great conversationalist – Francesca Tighinean – (Big Think)
In another case of serendipity, this item followed the previous in my inbox.
The old adage that you should listen twice as much as you talk because you have two ears and one mouth may be incorrect. Listening only gives the other person in the conversation little to connect with.
As someone opens up, they become more familiar, you start noticing what you have in common, and liking follows.
This works in both directions. Naturally, we shouldn’t hog the conversation, and we shouldn’t remain completely silent. Instead, the goal would be the happy medium. The article includes “3 things great conversationalists do: Be the first one to go deeper. Listen out loud. Prepare conversation topics in advance.” Those may feel somewhat stilted, but they’re a great place to start developing your own style and rhythm.
Do this: Connect.
Random links
Other things I found interesting this week.
- The Adventures Of Hans and Hank the Catheter – Exactly what it sounds like.
What I’m reading now
- Strong Ground: The Lessons of Daring Leadership, the Tenacity of Paradox, and the Wisdom of the Human Spirit – Brené Brown
- The Butcher’s Masquerade: Dungeon Crawler Carl Book 5 – Matt Dinniman
My Reading List – everything I’ve read since 2021.
My Sources Page – the common sources I scan/read regularly.
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