Deliberate listening. Cynicism v. hopefulness; fight! Hard things are hard. Taking care of each other. Lessons at level 90. Neotoddlers - an appropriate new word. Read more than the headline, OK?
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1. “Listening is a deliberate act of discovery.”
What Listening Does — An Untaught Life Skill – Scott Boms – (Blog)
I gravitate towards essays on listening because it’s such an important skill, and one I could improve so much. I constantly find myself in the constant and stereotypical position of thinking of how to respond, rather than listening to understand.
listen unconditionally with no particular aim other than to understand another’s point of view
That is SO HARD. And, indeed, as the essay’s title points out: it’s a skill we don’t teach. A shame for something so critical.
Do this: Listen. Practice.
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2. “Unlike cynicism, hopefulness is hard-earned”
Nick Cave On Singing With Johnny Cash And The Joyful, Uplifting Vibe Of His New Album, ‘Wild God’ – Nick Cave – (YouTube)
In a segment of a talk show interview, Cave reads a fan letter:
Following the last few years, I’m feeling empty and more cynical than ever. I’m losing faith in other people and I’m scared to pass these feelings onto my little son. Do you still believe in us human beings?
His response includes:
Each redemptive or loving act, as small as you like — such as reading to your little boy, showing him something you love, singing him a song, or putting on his shoes — keeps the devil down in the hole. It says the world and its inhabitants have value, and are worth defending. It says the world is worth believing in.
Particularly these days it takes work — often hard work — to remain hopeful. And yet hope is warranted every day in the millions upon millions of acts, small and large, of people interacting in friendship and love with one another. Cynicism is easy. Hope requires you pay attention.
Do this: Hope.
3. “Accepting hard things makes us better.”
Three Lies About Hard Things – Chris Guillebeau – (A Year of Mental Health)
The three lies:
- Time heals all wounds.
- It will all be okay.
- You can stand up to anything.
Those qualify to the author, and to me, as false hope and magical thinking.
The world we live in is not always fair or just.
Innocent people suffer and die. The tsunami, the hurricane, the earthquake—these destructive forces of nature do not negotiate, going back and forth with you about what is an acceptable level of pain or sacrifice.
Understanding that, learning to cope with that, doing what you can about that while knowing there are limits to what you can do … this is how you deal. This is how you grow. This is how you survive.
Do this: Accept hard things.
4. “Taking care of one another feels good”
Wired for care – Rosie Spinks – (What Do We Do Now That We’re Here?)
While the examples are primarily about mothers and villages helping mothers, the essay is really about how we’re designed to care for one another, and suffer if we don’t.
The human capacity to care for each other — to put someone in front of our own needs over and over and over again because there is no other choice — is at once a superpower and the most mundane, elemental part of us.
And yet,
We live in a society and economic system that incentivizes us to retreat into ourselves and pretend we’re doing just fine alone.
This is one of the many contributing factors to the loneliness epidemic so many face.
Do this: Care.
5. “As I turned 90 this summer, I saw the world anew.”
What’s Too Old? – Katharine Esty PhD – (Blog)
The author uses her new nonagenarian status to reflect on what it means to age in our society. It’s an interesting perspective.
One item that resonated for me was this:
We should be judging people on their capabilities rather than their numerical age.
This is something I’ve believed for a long time … well before my age reached what some consider to be “old”. Let’s face it, there are retirees who would be more capable at some jobs performed by those of younger ages. That age might be a factor is inevitable. That it’s as large a factor as it often seems to be is limiting the potential of some of our most valuable people.
Do this: Look at capabilities, not numbers.
6. “Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life”
The Rise of Neotoddlerism – Gurwinder – (The Prism)
The essay focuses primarily on activism and the rise of disruptive actions as a form of protest, but it’s another example of a concept that applies so much more broadly.
Not only do neotoddlers lack impulse-control, they also mistake their lack of impulse-control for morality, and mistake the impulse-control of others for callousness.
I think we all know people that fit that mold. Rather than wanting to have a substantive discussion to make progress on a given issue, they stamp their feet and double-down on their outrage, thriving on the attention it gets them.
Do this: Starve the neotoddlers of attention. Have substantive discussions instead.
7. “Few people want to read anything longer than a headline.”
Teaching During the “Rise of AI” and the “End of Reading” – Eric Sentell – (Medium)
A college teacher’s perspective on a problem we keep hearing more and more about: long form reading — aka books — is on a sharp decline.
Reading books matters. Long-form text is the kind most likely to impart valuable information, build critical thinking skills, and nurture empathy. And on some level, reading builds commitment and work ethic.
Unlike many “woe is us” essays on the topic, the author includes a list of actions he believes are important to remedy the situation. There are several. For example, “Assign less reading but take students deeper into its ideas.” But it’s unclear that all are workable, or workable without greater involvement from more educators and — perhaps most importantly — parents.
Do this: Read a book.
Other things that caught my eye
- Do you need religion to be a moral person?
- Transgender Today – For people who are confused and bewildered about this
What I’m reading
In progress:
- Foundation’s Edge – Isaac Asimov
- How to Read a Book – Mortimer J. Adler, Charles Van Doren
- Where Good Ideas Come From – Steven Johnson (re-read)
- Thinking, Fast and Slow – Daniel Kahneman (audio)
Daily:
- A Calendar of Wisdom: Daily Thoughts to Nourish the Soul, Written and Selected from the World’s Sacred Texts – Leo Tolstoy
A full list of my common sources is on the sources page, and I list the books I’ve read on my Reading List page.
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-Leo
What Listening Does – An Untaught Life Skill – Scott Boms
The Rise of Neotoddlerism – Gurwinder – (The Prism)
Thoughtful reading