Hate Is a Sticky Substance – 7 Takeaways No. 209

Populism is marketing. Sunk costs are sunk. Respect defeats shame. Create value. Writing vs. imposter syndrome. Go ahead, be weird. Letting hate define you. Cherish your friends.

A carved relief art image of a person struggling to extricate themselves from a tar pit. The carving depicts the person in a dynamic and emotional pose, with their upper body and arms reaching upward as their legs and lower body are partially submerged in the viscous tar.
(Image: DALL-E 3)

You draw out of the world what you put into it.
Want to attract reliable people? Be reliable.
Want to attract trustworthy people? Be trustworthy.
Want to attract welcoming people? Be welcoming.
Want to attract exceptional people? Be exceptional.
– James Clear

Four years. It’s hard for me to believe, but today’s issue wraps the fourth year of 7 Takeaways. Wow. Regardless of when you arrived, be it day one, or this being your first issue, thank you for being here. It really means a lot and is an added incentive for me to keep going. Which I certainly plan to do.

1. “Populism begins not as the ideology but the marketing”

Populism, Media Revolutions, and Our Terrible Moment – Hank Green – (vlogbrothers, YouTube).

This is an absolutely fascinating walk through of the beginnings of populist movements, and how what we’re seeing today is “just” another, albeit with its own unique challenges.

The printing press and the radio are both examples of fundamental shifts in human communication. Each contributed to major populist events (the Reformation, World War II). The internet is another fundamental shift in information flow, this time from one-to-many, to many-to-many, with all the chaos that implies.

My summary’s not really doing it justice. Green’s an energetic speaker, and the video, while just over 30 minutes long, is a very interesting watch. (Here’s an AI-generated summary of the video.)

Do this: Do what you can to understand current events and their context. (I know, not a simple task.)

#populism

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2. “What’s done is done”

The Sunk Cost Fallacy Is Ruining Your Decisions. Here’s How – Jamie Ducharme – (Time)

This is such a common fallacy that people fall for without even realizing it. Continuing something just because you’ve invested in it, even though it’s doomed to fail, is nonsensical. It’s most commonly associated with things we’ve spent money on.

There’s nothing you can do to regain money that’s lost — and pursuing something that makes you unhappy not only isn’t going to get your money back, but it’s also going to make you worse off. You’re just digging a deeper hole.

It applies to so much more, though. A non-monetary example discussed in the essay is relationships — “The longer you’ve been together, the harder it is to break up.” Even though breaking up might be inevitable.

Do this: Look for this fallacy when making decisions, particularly important ones.

#fallacies #sunk-cost

3. “You do it because you respect yourself.”

The End of Shame – Lawrence Yeo – (More to That)

Kismet has me stumbling upon various items relating to shame and its impact on people and societies. It’s insidious, sneaky, and hard to deal with. Yeo’s essay traces (at a high level) where shame originates, and how it manifests. It’s a reasonable model.

You don’t change for the better because other people make you feel inadequate; no, you do it because you respect yourself.

While I tend to agree with the conclusion (self-love is the answer), it feels over simplistic, and not nearly as easy as you might think he’s suggesting.

Do this: Respect yourself.

#respect #shame

4. “Create value, receive value.”

My Honest Advice to Someone Who Wants to Make A Lot of Money – Sahil Bloom – (Curiosity Chronicle)

Bloom includes seven items, but the first grabbed my attention the most. (All are good food for thought.) “The only way to make a lot of money is to create a lot of value.”

It’s not talking about the thing, it’s not brainstorming about the thing, it’s not asking about the thing, it’s not thinking about the thing. The only way to create value is by doing the thing.

What I would add is that it has to be something other people value, not just you. If you’re all excited about a thing that no one else cares about, that won’t do much for you.

The other thing I would add is that this is about so much more than making money. It’s anything that’s even vaguely reciprocal: love, friendship, respect, and much, much more.

Do this: Create value.

#value

5. “Know your place, worm!!!!”

How To Battle Imposter Syndrome – Mike Sowden – (Engage: A Non-Fiction Storytelling Course)

I was first introduced to impostor syndrome when early in my career one of my direct reports confessed to feeling like someday he’d be “found out”, and would be shamed, or even ejected, from his job. At Microsoft. Where he was one of the best engineers I knew of. (His subsequent career bore that out.)

And here I thought it was just me.

Sowden’s solution is to “write what you want to learn”, explicitly accepting yourself as an imperfect student, just like everyone else.

The trick is keeping yourself open to being corrected – which is a great way to build trust and engagement in readers.

One reason this feels so familiar to me is that it’s, essentially, the Feynman Technique, which boils down to the same thing: teach what you want to learn. It’s just reframed for writers.

Do this: Always be learning.

#imposter-syndrome #learning #teaching

6. “People will always criticize what they don’t understand.”

Own Your Weird: An Oddly Effective Way for Finding Happiness in Work, Life, and Love  – Jason Zook – (ebook)

I always find it fascinating when, as I’m reading a piece on one topic, I run across a thought that has much broader applicability.

As the title implies, the book is about embracing your authentic, weird, self. People who don’t “get it” will criticize, but that’s OK. That’s what people who don’t “get it” do.

Now map that onto the larger world. There’s so much people don’t understand. Pick just about any topic in science, for example. The result? Many, many people choose to criticise (sometimes vehemently, and sometimes to their own great detriment and that of others) rather than take even the briefest moment to try to understand.

Do this: Seek first to understand.

#understanding #weird #criticism

7. “Hate is a sticky substance.”

How Defining Yourself By What You Hate Makes You Miserable – Joan Westenberg – (Westenberg)

I’m tempted to extend the essay title: “… as well as many of those around you.”

Even though it’s always been so, in recent years we’ve seen the rise of individuals defining themselves by their hatred of and opposition to, some thing, some ideology, or some person. They become a one-note song, bolstered by platforms that amplify and encourage the outrage.

There are, of course, many unexpected results, and a few interesting observations. I found this one insightful:

If hating X is core to who you are, then you actually need X to keep existing.

Counter-intuitive, yet true on reflection.

The alternative?

Build your identity around what you love and value rather than what you oppose.

What’s fascinating is that both approaches can achieve the same results. One just comes out of the effort happier, healthier, and probably with more friends.

Do this: Share what you love, not what you hate.

#outrage #hate #love

8. “Cherish and be grateful for the friends you have right now.”

Where Do Friends Go? – Leo Notenboom – (Blog)

I found myself reflecting on the transient nature of friendship this week.

It’s easy to believe that friendships, once established, will last forever, or at least a very long time. Particularly when we’re young, there’s little evidence to the contrary.

And then we grow up.

We learn that life changes in oh so many ways that it’s impossible for even some of the best and most reliable of friendships to survive. It’s no surprise that the less-than-bestie relationships might legitimately fall by the wayside.

Do this: Be grateful for your friends.

#friends

Random links

What I’m reading

In progress:

Daily:

A full list of my common sources is on the sources page, and I list the books I’ve read on my Reading List page.

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-Leo


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